TRANSPOSE

FUCK YOU BITCH ASSES.

2009-07-12T09:50:00.001+08:00

what a note to begin a year on.
Thanks, my oh so beloved parents.

hey! I'm saying hi!

2009-06-26T20:06:00.003+08:00

I'm aware about not posting for a long time.
HAAH!
I just refused to.
Everything's so screwed recently.
That included the newly created, "singme7"
Yes. I hope you guys pardon me. =(

so amusing.

2009-05-09T12:33:00.002+08:00

Hah. How dumb I was to complain about upper secondary life.

When JC's so much tougher with no time at all for tuition.

lalala (:

2009-04-28T19:48:00.001+08:00

"Welcome to Drama Club"
- says Melvyn. :D

Choir.

2009-04-25T18:57:00.002+08:00

I still think that running away shouldn't be a choice in life.
Accept it, shall I? =)

Oh, what encouragement.

2009-04-19T08:09:00.002+08:00

"What's the point of studying in JC when you're stressing yourself out, big time?!"

What Schedules. ><

2009-04-13T22:40:00.003+08:00

I've just reached home from school...

And I've PW PI draft two, Romeo review, math and physics tutorials, to do...
And I've to source for duologues for tsd midyears prac above the group play...
And I've a math open-notes test tomorrow...
And school ends at 9.15 - 9.30pm tomorrow...
And...
And... I am so helplessly tired....!!! D;

randomness.

2009-04-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

Showcase was a blast!! =D
TSD had a gradually increasing hectic schedule. I'm afraid to not be able to cope. =(

AND CHOIR's PRACTICES SCHEDULES TORMENTS ME!!! D;
No sleep.

Hah! And Vick went to my school today and I said "HI!" =D
What a day.

elemental muse

2009-04-07T22:03:00.004+08:00

I've created a blog to run concurrently with this.
Blogging details will be different.

http://elementric-muse.livejournal.com/

Check it out if you wanna...

screams

2009-04-05T00:49:00.003+08:00

NOT in order of importance.
ALL are equally important.

Choir SYF.
Project Work PI Draft ONE.
Chinese Project.
Physics Kinematics Tutorial.
Mathematics Functions Notes (revise)
Mathematics 1C Inversion Tutorial.
GP Time magazine worksheet.
GP Revision on Poverty and Mass Media.
GP Reading Logs.
TSD Mid years assessments practical.
TSD Reflections on the Destinies of the flowers in the mirror - acting style.
TSD research on the restoration period.
TSD reading of the script "Love for Love, a comedy".
TSD reflections for the practical session on April 2nd.
Physics revision on Kinematics Projectile motion.
TSD mid year assessments props (cue cards and sound effects [find mp3s])
TSD mid year assessments blog management.
TSD revision on the stages of theatre (text, production, reception) AND the 4 main directors.
Choir memorizing of songs.
Geography Tutorial 3!
Geography Revision of Plate Tectonics.
Team A tomorrow! I hope I'd not screw up. D;

man-on-the-moon marigolds

2009-04-02T23:03:00.003+08:00

but I knew it all along; I can't.

I totally understood the situation Matilda was placed in.
And the Cobalt-60 gamma radiation she've been exposed to.
That seemingly refreshing, strange, beautiful, perfect, radiation was realized to be ever so harmful; so deadly.

Being a very strong radiation force, the ones which received little radiation have grown into plants which are normal in appearance. Those which received moderate radiations were mutated. Those which are closest to the gamma source were killed or yielded dwarf plants (deformed).

My experiment has shown that some of the strange things, gamma rays can produce... and how dangerous it may be, if not handled correctly.

Is this fate that I'm experiencing it again?
If so, why me?

Winter's Tale!! =D

2009-03-29T19:27:00.004+08:00

Credits: http://www.gloucester.gov.uk

I'm IN LOVE WITH SHAKESPEARE!!! xD
Brilliant acting, remarkable lightings, imaginative abstract sounds and theme music, impressive costumes, ...
One word to describe the play, "WOW!!"

Though not as magical as how the "Tragic tales of Cheeseboy" was, the Winter's Tale brought forth, the cruelty of the European traditions in the latter half of the Renaissance Era. But there's one striking problem with the play and that is the grievance of King Leontes, that was meant to be the key of the play, wasn't conveyed. Not even till the last scene where he seeks Hemione's (his Queen) forgiveness and acceptance. Perhaps it was meant to be deeply emotional, I can't see the features of King Leontes' face well enough and thus failed to judge properly. I knew that they key of the play, the reason for every happenings in the play, wasn't clearly received by the audience.

The dramatic sequence, however, was simply fascinating! I engulfed in the dream of the play as if it was reality. The theme music, a simple and repetitive motif created a form of drag and suspense in the play. But it didn't stop there, many versions of it were played. Slightly faster ones, slower ones, empty ones, accompanied ones,... They all had their own specific usage be it to create suspense, to portray the character's emotions, to set the atmosphere... They were all carefully chosen and played!

The scenes in Bohemia was vibrant and the colours of the lightings are carefully tinted to suit the warmth that the director wanted to portray! The sounds played was even more remarkable. Guitar and Violin ensemble! With the guitar strumming the chords and the violin sluring to the nice old familiar American folk tune... It was indeed magical! Silly as it may be, the scene where country girls have balloon breast and cow boys have surprisingly long under attracted the most attention among the tsd group. Hahaa!!

AND THE SCENE WITH THE LIGHTING STRIKE. The Bear's SO CUTE!!! D; Too exaggerated and fast due to on-stage limitations. Ah well. And the Shephard. And some maniac who came running onto the stage...
Mangay was telling me how much that guy resembles Saad!! Hah. So I told her about how Saad wanted to come but became a last minute actor in the play itself. Xp (THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!)

And know what, I WANT A FEW HARD-EDGE LIGHTS IN THE BLACKBOX!!! The one used in Esplanade during the play was used to portray a window on the top of the wall and it looked SO REAL!!! D;

I'm jealous.

4 men; 3 seats

2009-03-24T21:18:00.007+08:00

Random boredom.
Let me teach you how to get dao4-ed 4 times in a row.

One: Can I have a seat?
Another One: Can I have a seat two?
Yet another one: Can I have a seat two... err, three?
Me: One, two, three... HEY YOU GUYS CHEATED!!!

And let me tell you what must you not do in public.
A: Don't SING our cheer out loud in public yeah?
B: Why not?
A: Cos' the SAJCians will slaughter us with lightings and goddnoooeswadd disasters!!
B: Whatthehell! That won't happen. Anyway, why?
A: Cos' [starts to sing to the tune of "When the Saints go marching in"] When the Hawks, O' when the Hawks, O' when the Hawks go flying in...!!!
B: O' shuddup will'ya!!
A: Why why why??!!
B: Fuck your ass, you bastard. You just manipulated that dang song oh you dammit.
A: I always do-
B: We'd die!
A: Oh really?
B: Cos' you've broken their law of the saints. Look. Once a saint, ALWAYS a saint!
A: But once a saint, needn't always be a saint... Some are sane, some are insane, but some are just outsane. Needn't to say, I'm such a saint to prove that I'm sane and they aren't.
B: You've lost your right of mind.
A: I'm using my left!
B: whut.

The Hawks substituted 'em and... died in the stratosphere.
I'm such a saddist. =p

X: Hey! What cool personal message you have there! What does it say?
Y: Lemmie see... [ checks on documents] It says, "and thou shalt send thy script that one shalt read and not comprehend. "
X: From the bible?
Y: Sounds like it heh!
X: Is it?
Y: KJV.
X: Wazzat?!?!
Y: Well, not the bible, let alone KJV.
X: Stop pissing me off you dang!
Y: It's KJV (King James Version) alike.
X: ANSWER MY INITIAL QUESTION O' DANG!!!
Y: Fine... [takes out script and analyse it.] I mean...

and thou - The Great One.
shalt send thy script - The script that we've just attained.
that one shalt read - I read it.
and not comprehend - And NOT COMPREHEND.

Y [ agitated.] : Understood not?!
X [ hesitated.] : Pardon?

I: O' look at them. Suckers. They have no originality! They substitute their names with ABs and XYs. Unlike me. I started my speech-of-life with u'.
U: Didn't you just used "I" instead?

coolness.

2009-03-23T20:34:00.001+08:00

O' yeah?
After seating in for both J1s and J2s rehearsals,
I'm starting to think that J1s' rehearsals are more efficient in terms of everything...

What a paradox.

YAY ME!!

2009-03-21T20:24:00.003+08:00

I'VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPOSED A
2MINUTES AND 22 SECONDS,
SSA + PIANO COMPOSITION!!!! xD

What an ACHIEVEMENT!! =D

Actually, it's a composition to go together with my Mid Year's TSD practical assessment. "The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-on-the-moon Marigolds" they call it. It was written for the concluding section of the extract.
Theme of music? - Emptiness; Hopeful; Conflicts; Loneliness.
Written in g minor, this monothematic composition hopes to portray one, not being able to find acceptance after countless tries and conflicts with the outside World. He'd find himself back to square one where he knew that he was destined to walk the path of life in solitude.

I call the piece "Walking in Solitude" (make sense?).
If you want to see the score, find me if you can!! x)

But at the moment, can anyone help me export the sibelius file and change the playback to mp3/wma/amr/whatever files that can be played by an mp3!! =(

Thanks.

2009-03-20T18:04:00.002+08:00

"your voice suck, big time. you can't sing."
Thanks for your compliment, I so know that fact.
I seriously wonder, how the heck did I get passed the auditions with 3 stars.

"today was so screwed."
"yeah i know. I should be in drama where I can excel rather than dragging the whole group's standard down the drain."
[silence]
and silent always mean consent. i will do it right after 6/3/09. no worries.

o' wow?

2009-03-18T23:37:00.002+08:00

And so I thought, everything was peaceful.
I see everything falling in place.
Picturesque atmosphere.
Things being too good to be true.

Only waking up to reality.
Yet again, I stood alone.
O' am I really fated for this?
- To wear a mask of an oddball.

no life.

2009-03-17T20:23:00.002+08:00

And at the end of my hectic schedule for the second day of the week, I've decided to seat on for a nice cool cup of fresh milk, some nice Japanese songs in the background, and my mind recollecting what I've done during the day that've past. You know, time don't stop at one's feet. Unless you detach yourself from it, for eternity.

Yes. It was only ONE practise I've missed and the impact of the drilling then was... Extraordinary! I was amazed by what Ms Ong's capable of doing. The whole feel of the pieces was, intact. Though minor hiccups are inevitable but, upon piecing up all the broken pieces of the puzzle... I was impressed by the picturesque vision a piece can produce. =) Well done, TPJChoir! =D
But, I've to humbly admit that I can't sing till that utmost standard of every other previously-choir-members. Can't help it, I major-ed in the synthesizer rather than the vocal. Previously, that was. Meet-the-maestro session was. AWESOME!! Okay. Not to the very extent because things just went extremely fast without any catchy activities that'd make one's hair stand on ends. If only they could lengthen it and go through the set piece. How great would that be to correct our every minor mistakes. Okay, sidetrack a little, I'm so glad Jessica and YingYing accompanied me from the Singapore's Raffles Music College all the way to Tampines Mall for lunch after the whole event. =p

TSD, DS-IS was such an eyeopener today! YES! I'm having my eyes set onto DS!! X) I can't forget my aspiration to do abstract music apart from cosmology. =p Lightings were so cool to play with! Though the school's drama facilities won't comparable to ACJC's, but I believe it's our creativity to make use of our limited equipments that counts. =) AND I CAN'T WAIT TO TOUCH THE SOUNDBOARD like the one above (SAC new sanctuary's one)!!! X)

Alright. I shall stop here for a moment for a date with my physics notes. =( She's bugging me about marriage but I insisted not. Math and GP's waiting impatiently behind. Whining at me. "Why aren't you sharing the love you showed to Physics, TSD and Choir!!" they complained. O' well. I lead a sad life, I must admit. Hahahaa!!

O' yes. And I'm so loving my holidays.

Magical Storytelling!!

2009-03-14T19:50:00.002+08:00

Yes. It's been a long time since I blog a proper post.
No. This picture wasn't drawn by me. I failed my art.
Credits to http://www.ozarts.com.au/ - I got it from there. =)

Normal school + Crazy Combination = Crazy Class = Crazy Friends = Crazy activities = Crazy Results = FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE = Crazy workload = Stress = LOSING MY ONCE-SANE-MIND.

Oh yes. Caught "The Tragical Life Of Cheeseboy" this morning with the tsd cohort, J1s and J2s. It was... MAGICAL. Seeing how the soloist change from character to character, coming out of his roles and back to his own self, commenting on the emotions of the supposed character that was then, of non-existence.

The actors (team) showed wonderful coordinations especially when it comes to the "90 seconds interval"! It doesn't have any backstage and so, some random backstage crews came up to perform, dancing to some very random beat, juggling balls; showing his skills, etc. What's best was when he asked, "How much time do we have left?" and the other man's respond was "10 seconds sir", his emotions used when he said "OH MY GOD!" was seriously amusing! It sounds as if he was joking but serious, serious but joking. Their ability to change character can really really make one indulge in the performance!

But all in all, I was really in awe of the dramatic sequence of the play. The lightings they used were really simple yet captivating. It's really amazing how they use the technique of rotating gobos and colours as their main means of creating the emotions. The songs they sung, though off-tuned, enhances the sadness of the character. The music used (yes, I was asked to not use that style for my O level coursework! Crap. I like it so much!) was a two part writing, the melody and the chords used was played very far apart (ie: melody was very high pitched while the accompaniment's very low in the bass), creating this sense of emptiness in the atmosphere that was better enhanced by the strings effect! I watched in awe, hoping that the play doesn't stop. D;

I WANT TO WATCH THE PLAY AGAIN!!!!! D;
And indulge myself in the World of imaginations, where little kids fly and the heavens speak their minds. How I wish I'm younger again. =(

There was a lecture without teachers.

2009-03-09T21:16:00.003+08:00

Unfruitful study groups; Missing TSD rehearsals; Teacher-less lectures; Great CCAs...
SCHOOL ROCKS!!! =D

drama-mamasss...

2009-03-01T23:06:00.002+08:00

Checking out (Bodily check), drinking water!!
TSD'o9 is ♥!!! =D

YAY!!!

2009-02-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

Thanks Fathoum for Today!!! =D
I REALLY LOVED IT!!!! xD

grasp.

2009-02-25T23:14:00.002+08:00

I cried when I saw these articles while I research on my GP tutorial preparations...

On November 4th, 2008 millions of Americans were shocked that a man of Barack Obama's limited experience, extreme liberal positions and radical political alliances could be elected President of the United States.

-http://www.howobamagotelected.com/media-malpractice-research.asp

And in the latter time of the Kingdom, when the transgressors are come to the full, a King of Fierce countenance, and understanding dark sentences, shall stand up. And this power shall be mighty, but not by his own power: and he shall destroy wonderfully, and shall prosper...
(Daniel 8: 23-24 KJV)

WASHINGTON - US President Barack Obama extended his outreach to Asia yesterday by meeting Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso here, making the Asian leader his first foreign guest at the White House.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_342673.html

Defense and foreign policy were a small part of Obama's first address to Congress, which focused on the economic crisis...
Administration officials say Obama plans to remove all US combat troops from Iraq by August 2010, three months later than he had promised in the presidential campaign.
Obama also promised that his proposed budget would not 'hide' the price of wars waged in Iraq and Afghanistan.
'For seven years, we have been a nation at war. No longer will we hide its price,' he said

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_342745.html

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves..."
(Matthew 7: 15 NIV)

WASHINGTON - REPUBLICAN leaders continued their attacks on President Barack Obama's handling of the economy Tuesday, calling it irresponsible and certain to increase taxes and federal debt... 'Republicans believe the road back to prosperity is paved with greater personal freedom, not bigger government.'

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_342686.html

He will speak against the Most High and oppress his saints and try to change the set times and the laws. The saints will be handed over to him for a time, times and half a time.
(Daniel 7: 25 NIV)

WASHINGTON - AN outbreak of salmonella food poisoning traced to peanut products has sickened 666 people and is continuing despite one of the biggest food recalls in US history, health officials said on Tuesday.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_342781.html

WASHINGTON - US PRESIDENT Barack Obama vowed on Tuesday to begin comprehensive reform of the US' troubled health care system this year and launch a major initiative to find a cure for cancer 'in our time'.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_342757.html

Obama plan 'irresponsible'

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_342686.html

I don't wish to know what's happening.
How'd I wish if GP doesn't exist and I'll be kept segregated from the outside World.
I don't want all these to come, that early!

Okay. I shall stop here and continue GP.

TP.

2009-02-17T20:36:00.004+08:00

TSD'o9 Mark's group!
(with some outsiders too. =p)

Okay. Timetable check. Term 1 Week 3. Official lectures started. Tutorials haven't. Orientation isn't completed. Off they went for camp one. I'm left for camp two.
Note. ORIENTATION HAVEN'T OFFICIALLY ENDED.
Benches all around the school, occupied with students, not only J2s, but ALSO J1s!! And guess what they're doing? You guessed it - mugging.
I have never seen so much of a school! Come to think of it. I am thankful that I wasn't posted to MJ. H2 Physics and H2 Mathematic darn taxing for it's humble start. Wow! I can't cope! Believe it or not. MOST OF MY CLASSMATES HAVE COMPLETE THE WHOLE PHYSICS TUTORIAL ONE ASSIGNMENT WHEN THE LECTURE'S NOT YET COMPLETED!!! D;
Competition's tense. I am really wondering how am I gonna survive with my one-of-a-kind subject combination.
Gaaa!! Musn't let fear take its toll on me! I MUST BE COMPARABLE TO THE REST OF MY SCHOOLMATES!!!! XP
I musn't die, just yet!! =x

Orientation Camp's tomorrow!
09S29 FTW!! Hawk House FTW!!! =D

OGTHREE

2009-02-09T21:57:00.002+08:00

A simple idea made reality.
Unity is strength!
TPJC OGTHREE ROCKS!!!! xD

Venturing back.

2009-02-06T18:53:00.002+08:00

it's gettin' quiet in here...
no one spoke a word; no one shed a tear.
a silent seperation - nothing elses left.

Today's the last day of the first week in JC.
And... The ONLY lesson for the day - PE.
What's best about today was that today's the day that OG 3 bonded most within the week. =)
Then I decided to sit-in for chemistry lecture since almost the whole OG went.

I rushed to Quest after lunch in school, only to find out that I'm ps-ed by Tionglin, Jon Lek, JunJie, and Steph Chee. But disappointment quickly faded away as I start seeing familiar faces, starting with Mr Imran, and Derek.
Then I met Angel and Baosian, they were cool! Without them, I guess i won't stayed in Quest for so long. Mr Toh's still in Quest. Can you believe it? Especially after declaring his retirement back in 2005! WeiShan joined me after that, then she vanished to her band practises, and I was left with Caleb and two new friends Adeline (Sorry, I thought you're a sec 2) and Shujuan.
AND. Caleb's amusing!
C (Caleb), "Hey CX!! What school did you go?"
Me, "Read the words on my shirt?"
C, (reads the words slowly, trying hard to process it), "T...P...J...C... ... ... What's that! Temasek Poly... Junior College?!"
Me, "Err... Yea!"
C, "Is that a poly or a JC?"
Me, "What do you think?"
C, "Poly? what course?"
Me, "Poly got uniform heh!"
C, "Poly got uniform? Don't have what!!!"
Me, "Hahahaa!! Then??"
C, "SO JC LUH!!!"
Me, "Uhh... huh?"
SJ, "But TP... JC?! What's that?! Toh Payoh JC?"
Me, "Is there such a thing?"
C, "No?"
Me, "Uh huh? then?" (pauses, and take out PE tee-shirt) "Let me give you a clue..." (Flip to the back of the shirt and showed them T.P.J.C.)
A, "Ohohh!! What's that?! Temasek Poly JC?"
Me, "No?"
SJ, "Tampines! - "
A, "what what?"
C, "What? Got Toh Payoh meh?"
Me, "You're right! Tampines!"

*note: MORE than them asked me whether TPJC stands for Temasek Poly JC or not. XP

All in all, Quest's interior changed quite a bit. All the construction work and renovation work stole all the nice spots away. I really wonder how much the sec 4s this year have to suffer during lessons and all. I'd just wanna wish the rest of the students and esp the sec 4s'09 all the best for the major exams be it Ns or Os. =)

Then when I left the darkest of all places. I walked through the narrow pathway, across the dirtiest of canals, all of 'em flashed before me like it was just a second ago. Time really flies.

First day of school.

2009-02-02T22:48:00.003+08:00

First day of school!

Got passed Choir auditions rather easily!!
Passed "Top Secret Division" written auditions!!
Met Wendy AND Yuen Siang (coincidentally) at school!! =D
Met new friends!!!*** =) They are DARN DARN NICE!! xD

Okay.
"Top Secret Division" practical auditions tomorrow!!
I guess there's an interview.
I've gotta mug Japanese Noh AND Kabuki Theatre all over again.
AND ALSO, I've to master the sick (I mean seriously) script that was given!!!
But work was made easier when I found something on youtube. xP
This is it.

Off for revisions.

=D

2009-01-30T11:22:00.001+08:00

Bye Queenstown!!
HELLO TEEPEE!!! xP

*never in my life have I felt so excited. =p

WTH!

2009-01-29T00:20:00.002+08:00

Okay...
This crap's from facebook.
And yes. I'm feeling really I-don't-know now.
And yes, like what's reflected on the title - WTH.

whats the first letter of the person you will fall in love with?

OMG can.
I'm freaking out.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2009-01-27T20:30:00.001+08:00

Guess what.

The Lunar New Year 2009's about to go into history... =)

the message.

2009-01-24T21:05:00.006+08:00

you left my heart throbbing fast; my mind empty.
you left my vision in darkness; my world lifeless.

your words stole my heart; i am feeling lost.
who are you to me, my stranger friend?

to San. Happy 18!

2009-01-22T01:18:00.006+08:00

HAPPY 18th Cuzzie Sann!!!

You can drink; drive; watch M18; legal age; adult; club; etc etc etc.
I CAN'T. Heh...
And what's more. You just completed your Os.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop making me jealous!!! D;

The only thing that made me not so jealous was...
O level results! Remember that you were always late for study group?
That gave me the extra boost to score ONE POINT better than you!! xD
Hahahahahaaaa!!! Kidding. =p
Just come on time for the next few group studies in future yeah?

Anyway. You were great!
In your last day of being 17, you've WON me in 5 out of 5 games of pool!!
Like. Oh my gosh. I thought I'd at least win once or something. You are WAY TOO SUPERB!! xD
Hahahaaa!!
You are the second person whom the cinema cashier mistook, having a relationship with me.
So amusing! And we only found out when we got into the Cinema!
Maybe you really looked young? I'm now 2 years YOUNGER than you!! =D

You will go into TP okay!!
In this case, it's TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC.
Okay. Nothing's wrong with that of the above right? =p
We can mug together at Tampines mall and maybe go back by train together everyday after school!
YAY!!! xD
That's only if you've projects / have a boyfriend (that's not likely right?).

Oh. Stop being nocturnal just to play pet society.
It's one of the lamest thing I've ever touched! Dx
Okay. My level's higher because I started way before you did.
So don't compare okay? =)

Alas. Lets keep this short.
Wishing ya a Blessed year ahead!
All the best in year 1 TP!! =D
You WILL DEFINITELY MAKE IT THERE to law!! =]
Then I will be there at TamPines too to accompany you.
HAHA!!
Happy Birthday Cuzzie!

五月天 - 而我知道

2009-01-20T20:53:00.003+08:00

作词：阿信作曲：阿信编曲: 而我知道

冰块还没融化你在看表我笑的尴尬
你说最近很忙改天聊吧

那天我在楼下想了很久想你说的话
你说爱情很窄世界很大 (而我们应该长大)

就这样吧就这样吧
我想我听懂你话中的话

而我知道那真爱不一定能白头到老
而我知道有一天你可能就这么走掉
而我知道我知道这一切我全都知道
我就是受不了

而我知道我们曾天真的一起哭和笑
而我知道放开手但不知道怎么忘掉
而我知道你走了以后的每一分一秒
却还是这么难熬

微笑紧紧咬牙给你祝福你自由飞吧
你说温室没有灿烂的花 (你总是很有想法)
就这样吧就这样吧
我同意可是我泪如雨下

Accomplishments!!

2009-01-16T23:59:00.002+08:00

What a day!
Today was the first day that I...

Played Dai-Di,
Played Poker with "Super" branded cards,
Played Frisbee,
Threw M&Ms into the sea,
Saw A FAMILY of mouses (rats) on the breakwaters,
Stare into the Sun when it was setting,
Ran into the waters till it was at my knee level without a change of clothes,
Slept at the beach,
Spot a person from over 300 metres away without my spectacles even when I've astigmatism and short-sightedness.
and not waxing my hair although I knew that I'm going out.

Now everyone, congratulate me for all these first times!!

THANK YOU!!!
*oh my gosh. I can't be as lame as that.

Fill in the Blanks!

2009-01-14T23:57:00.003+08:00

I shall fill in the blanks after visiting SAJC...
Gosh. It was such a disappointment!

"I think you should drop the idea of taking music...."
AND TAKE THEATRE STUDIES!!!!!!

Heading to TPJC in a few hours time...
Lets all hope that their school's environment and culture are good!
Their website, subject combinations, friend's feedback, and subject requirements are all giving me positive results about whether to join that school.

Only the location's a problem. D;
Let's see tomorrow!!

unexpected reality

2009-01-12T21:26:00.001+08:00

"I think you should drop the idea of taking music..."

O level was mid range.
Too good to be considered bad. Too bad to be considered good.

neutral.

shopping aimlessly

2009-01-10T23:27:00.005+08:00

Ang Mo Kio, Toh Payoh, then Bugis street...
I didn't expect myself to shop ever so aimlessly in 3 places consecutively today...
I have never completed such a task!

If not for Huizhen, I'd have not known what's a Cardigan!
Oh my. I know that I'm a little lousy in this field.
Thanks clothes designer!! =)

I've learnt that 03 scout's doing without a troop leader.
I've learnt that 03 scout's crapped out their open house.
I've pieced out why and how 03 scout troop's gonna collapse.
I'm utterly disgraced as a graduated 03 troop leader, for the failure of bringing my juniors a better CCA environment in school.
I'm seriously... Speechless about the progress 03 is making.

YAY!!!

2009-01-07T23:22:00.004+08:00

Oh man.
I'm freakishly tired now.
And the 1hour and 40minutes journey home from Sara's house was taking my toll...
Worse than riding the bike for 2 hours straight... D:

Anyway, today was fun! East coast was never so empty before! Even during lunch time! I can't believe Sara's so afraid of speed. If I've known it earlier, I'd have slept earlier, ate more, so I can cycle faster and push her to the limit. =p

Heard Sara on the piano during her lesson despite my phone blasting some of my favourite Arias in her house's other enclosed room. It was so loud. Oh too bad for you Sara. Dinner was filling. And I felt so bad after that. This was the second time eating with their family and they were treating! I'm an evil guest. Dx

O level results are coming out on the January 12th!! After 2pm!! I'd bang the wall if I get above 15 for L1R5, and I'd jump for joy if I get below 6 (I know it's impossible). I'd be neutral if I get 10. And because of my non-affiliation to any school, I've the freedom to actually choose ANY school I like for the first choice! Oh man. This is SO EXCITING! Can't wait.

Singapore Poly's open house and Ngee Ann Poly's open house are tomorrow till Saturday! I don't know if I should go. Maybe I should. Find some courses just in case. In case I have the need to bang the wall. X) touchwood.

HEY!!
This is the 100th post!! =D
Cheers. =)

left behind.

2009-01-05T20:56:00.003+08:00

movie alone, again.
and my seat?
F 10.
6th seat from the right, 6th seat from the left, 6th seat from the front.
If I've not mistaken, it was also the 6th seat from the back.
How coincidental when I've just finished the novel - 666.

was shoved aside by church mates.
so don't scold me when i say that the church's so-called fellowship's crap yeah?

can't blame me for leading a life in solitaire right?

Quiz.

2009-01-03T01:10:00.007+08:00

A.People who have been tagged must write their answer in their blog.
B.Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people who they are tagged cannot tag the person who they were tagged by.
C.Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people .

Tagged by: Benjamin Wee (how unfortunate huh.)
Do the quiz if you wanna. My social circle has lesser than 8 souls.

What have you been doing recently ?
Stoning, rotting, going out with friends...
Do you ever turn off your cell phone ?
Only during exams.
What happen at 10am today ?
How'd I know?! Like as if I can travel through time and space.
When did you last cry ?
April'08 (I will always remember that day and it causes)
Believe in fate / destiny ?
NEVER.
What do you want in your life now ?
Someone. A soulmate.
Do you intend to make your relationship complicated ?
Wait till I have one.
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone ?
That's the last thing I'd ever do.
What was the last movie you caught ?
Bedtime Stories? (wanna tell me some? I can't sleep)
Does the person you like knows that you like him/her ?
I suppose?
Who always makes you laugh ?
IS THIS A JOKE?!
Do you speak languages other than English ?
I'm a chinese.
Favourite websites ?
All websites are the same aren't they?
What are you doing tomorrow ?
Swimming? I guess?
What do you think you are like ?
I think I like? Do you think that this question's a little too broad?
Who would you choose to die with ?
TOUCH WOOD! I don't wanna think about it.
Where have you been today ?
Safra.
What games do you play often ?
I don't.
Who are you missing right now ?
Hey. Lets keep this private. That person'd blow if i write it down anyway.
If you have to choose between a friend and a lover who would you choose ?
do you have anything better to do?
What are you doing right now?
are you asking the obvious?
Which primary school were you from ?
Fairfield.
Name 3 colours you like ?
All colours are the same, don't you think so?
What emotion do you like to show ?
emo-ness.
What is life to you ?
A waste of time and resources.
If you have something troubling you , what would you do ?
Throw up.
Who did you last chat on msn ?
Mutton.
Who do you admire the most ?
no one. not even myself.
Which month were you born in ?
July.
How are you feeling right now ?
down
Whats the time now ?
1.22AM
Your opinion about the person who tagged you ?
Super nice in the virtual world. A pai kia in reality.
What colour do you like to dye your hair ?
my hair's a virgin and i wanna keep it that way.
Why are you doing this quiz ?
i'm tagged. hey isn't this obvious?!
What do you do when you are moody ?
look. what am i doing now?
At which stage would you like to get married ?
gasp. you can't force such a thing.
Who is closest to you ?
so far, no one on earth. I'd be glad to answer this question if I could.
Who do you trust the most ?
NO ONE is trustworthy.
Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain ?
not all the time. rainbow can be form anywhere with water and white light.
If you had a dream come true , what would it be ?
i wanna be loved.
What is your goal for this year ?
get into a nice JC and maintain my results if i started off well.
Do you believe in eternity love ?
yeah.
What feeling do you love the most ?
Same as the previous person who did this quiz.
Do you really think is global warming now ?
in 2000, it rained in Antarctica.
Do you like quizzes ?
hey c'mon. they are the worst thing on earth.
Do you believe in gods ?
yes.
Who cares about you the most ?
the one above the heavens.
What do you think is the most important thing in life ?
life.
What will you bring when you fight ?
I'm a nice guy alright?
What have you regretted doing in your whole life ?
Accepting the fact that the Armageddon's near.
What do you do if nobody cared for you any longer ?
i will wait since life's pointless so far.
What will you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you ?
she always do just that. for all i know.
but i will make her know that i still cares for her and loves her.
How you feel now ?
nostalgic.

January 1st

2009-01-01T12:58:00.010+08:00

And so, I'm back from my New Year's date...
Yes that one-girl-one-guy, "HTHT" cum night-walk thing.
Erm... At Potong Pasir. Oh man... Guess what. RIGHT OUTSIDE MY 2nd / 3rd CHOICE JC.

Countdown party (without any fireworks, DJs, artists, performance, crowds, star-filled night sky, etc) was surprisingly better than last year's!

During praise-and-worship...
Sarah, "Okay. The next song is a sad song but...erm...don't emo okay!"

... after quite a while after praise-and-worship, during free time ...

Sarah, "Why are you so emo!"
Me, "No, I'm not emo-ing."
Sarah, "Then you seat here alone..."
Me, "Those guys at the other side of the room also ma!"
Sarah, "But they emo together. You emo alone!"
Me, "You know why?"
Sarah, giving that sarcastic look, "why?!"
Me, cheekily, "Just now during praise-and-worship, you told us to NOT emo. So according to reversed psychology, we'll emo."
Sarah, "Oh no. I feel backfired."

The lack of sugar in my body's recovering the symptoms that I once had 2 years ago during the then countdown party. My vision turned negative as I made up my mind to rush back to the camp area for safety reasons, and therefore, missing the chance to catch the very first sunrise of 2009. I was seriously depressed then but after much thoughts, I thought I'd rather spend it with someone I like, rather than being alone.

Now, I'm finally back home. Shall I go into hibernation mode? Or should I not?
Oh maybe I should seek respite myself in the comfort of my bed.

OH!!! AND BEFORE I FORGET!!!!!
Music gathering (for selected few only)
CANCELLED, again.
due to extremely poor response.

Ridiculous.

2008-12-30T23:10:00.005+08:00

"you have to pay to work in our company..."

I'm not saying what's it.
And I think I'd rather work odd jobs if that's the case...
Now that's only for my vacation. =)

I was waiting for someone around City Hall just now. So I dropped by the Church, hoping for a cosy little area to indulge myself in my world of 666...
And then I came across a statement...

"...First it was the liberal Churches. Then it was the evangelicals watering down the Gospel with their introduction of the beat Gospel music...the Christian Rock groups...the relevant Christianity that played down the prophetic Word of God...stressed only the need for social concern. Now I saw how subtly the forces of evil had worked to turn the zealousness of the Church away from the winning souls towards a more material, business-like type of Christianity"

- 666, by Salem Kirban

Yes. It may be a book written by someone who's trying to interpret the book of Revelation in the context of the World today. I know how close the Armageddon may be. But this quote struck me. I guess this may be the root to my disbelief. Or rather, the refusal to my acceptance of faith.

3 words: I don't know.

But what I do know is...
I have got to do something; soon.

2008-12-29T13:23:00.001+08:00

She held my hand...
And I felt nothing at all.

And no. She isn't you-know-who. I don't like her at all.

emotional hindrance.

2008-12-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

and then, I left the stage. Glad? Upset? I don't know.

...and everything was over,
faster than a blink of an eye.
all the hard works
- gone in just a few seconds...

My heart throbbing in my chest. I musn't be distracted by any emotional hindrance on stage! But then again. That message. That very message! That freaking message of hers. Get it out! Something will go wrong. Something will. Something will once I'm up there...

And yes. There's a technical flinch as expected.

Then again, I recalled...
"Do you believe in feelings? Well... I always do, and they are quite accurate! Trust it. It'll do you good." - says J.

Why must I trust something that failed me all the time?! But am I wrong again? Look at what happened on stage just last evening?! Must I trust that sound and do accordingly? Must I heed advices from around, and taking it as advices from above?

There was a story that goes like this...
A few traders were travelling through a desert. A sound came to them and told them to pick up some sand and place them in their pockets and then to carry on on their journey. They found it a chore, but they trusted the voice, so they took a little. The voice then said, "very well, since you've obeyed me, you'll find yourselves glad and sorry by the next sunrise." Puzzled, they moved on.
The next Morning, the traders checked their pocket and found that the sand have all transformed into diamonds and crystals and all other forms of jewels. They were both glad and sorry.
Glad - that they have gained something.
Sorry - for not taking more.

So, do I heed what the voices say? Do I heed the suggestions of those around me? What if they contradicts each other? Its a 50 / 50 gamble. The risk's big. What can I say? Like the traders. It may be a chore; having to face the challenges brought by the consequence of a failure attempt in a hectic college life. But, also like the traders. I may find it a blessing, to gain what I have always wanted, a shoulder to cry on that never leaves (as analogized by jewels).

Do I seek every possible opportunities I have in mind now? Or do I let it slip off my limited grip, thinking that I have still got plenty of time? After all, I'm still quite young compared to a middle-aged person.

Talking about the Armageddon...
I seriously doubt that my visions are to come true. Or rather, I doubt I'd even be able to see that. But whatever it may be, I quote, "there's absolutely no time left..."
Failing bodily systems have made me seriously weak over the ages. The will to consult a doctor grew though I still depend solely on high dosages of pills that I suppose are vitamins, daily. That's honestly, freakishly terrible. My right ear's bursting; my vision's going on and off; my stamina's deteriorating; my head throbs with anger for stress relief; and my muscles sprain at the tiniest movement I ever made. I've even lost the ability to even seat straight for an hour, let alone standing...

And now, I see this chance. Friends told me when to execute it. Voices told me that too. I shall trust it again. And if I were to fail, I'm prepared for the worst.

It's CHRISTmas-Eve. =)

too real.

2008-12-22T21:48:00.004+08:00

What happens if your past nightmares appeared in a book? What if your worst fears were narrated as a story? What will you do if the thing that has been traumatising you for ages reappeared in a novel??

Its a mere first 2 chapters of the 13-chapters-long novel about revelation and I'm starting to worry. Everything's just... too real.

So...

"Why haven't you accept Christ as your personal saviour?!"

Yeah. I can't. I JUST CAN'T. I don't know why. There's just something there! What's that? Nothing? or Unseen? I want to. Then something's there. What's there I can't see. I can't go against it! I SIMPLY CAN'T!

Close encounter with him; news telecast with him; the Rapture; the Armageddon; the war against Israel, etc.

I'm painting the silhouettes of doom in my head...
AND I DON'T LIKE IT!

will I ever be left behind?

gosh.

2008-12-18T20:23:00.004+08:00

Tell you what.

I HATE INTERNATIONAL PLAZA!!
Oh. And Metro (Offices, in Taka.)

Okay. That's beside the point.
I had a weird night last night. Urgh! I dreamt that I got back my O level results and it was crap! B3 for Chinese, A2 for sciences, C5 for additional math, A2 for E math, C6 for English... What's more... MUSIC AND DNT DIDN'T APPEAR ON MY CERT!!! It was SO TERRIBLE!! I was crying till I bled. D: Then everyone was getting their As and... GOSH! I FLUNKED, LIKE EVERYTHING?! And guess what. I can't get into a JC. I CAN'T EVEN ENTER A DECENT POLY COURSE!! Everything was shattered. Then it was Chinese new year... Everyone was happy. Chatting, and sharing about the year and all... And all of a sudden, they asked for my O level results. And I had NO WHERE to hide myself man. It was... Embarrassing! Dx

I don't wanna get back my results... D:

Will you?

2008-12-17T03:52:00.000+08:00

An empty place; empty house.
I'm here alone; with a shattered puzzle.
Mind taxing, demanding;
I need to piece it up.

Either side, both good and bad,
seeks my attention; want me there.
Sandwiched between them, alone and in pain.
But no one ever cares.

Useless helps; false prophets.
Attempting to brainwash all that were there?!
Oh c'mon. Get outta my life.
- I don't want them there.

I want attention; I want love.
I want never-failing care, and a warmth pretty smile.
You materialistic girl. The one who hated me.
You were placed in my life; now I know why.

The buzz of the urban life; the cries of the stressed up people,
Annoying my delicate senses; takes them away.
I need a listening ear.
Will you lend me one?

Faith as fiction and science as facts.
Can't I accept both together?!
"Man can only have one master."
Stop it and I just wanna be myself.

But I need attention; I need love.
I need never-failing care, and a warmth pretty smile.
You materialistic girl. The one who hated me.
Will you be with me, through my toughest times?

Randomness.

2008-12-14T17:35:00.005+08:00

Yes! My mind's blank. And I so felt like blogging. Sometimes, I just don't understand myself. That uncontrollable urge to do things when I'm just not supposed / suitable to do so. And yes. I shall write with absolutely no motive. For no reason I shall continue. Read on if you want to. I have no rights to ever stop you. Okay. A tiring week had just passed. An even more torturing week ahead. Mime, work, piano, social. Crap. I think this is worse than O levels. I'd rather stare at those lifeless books, hoping to absorb enough "words" to, yeah, live on?!

Was discussing about promotions with my piano teacher and guess what.
I quote: "You only need ANY 2 A level PASSES to enter ANY University course."
Bloody hell right. I have no comments, seriously. But I'd rather be safe than sorry. I shall research for Uni courses entry requirements... After new year. =)

I was caught for slacking in basement 2 and not attending the weekly Sunday school. Oh right. And Weifang lao3 shi1 actually knew EVERYTHING. I swear that I didn't tell anyone about anything! Okay. As for why I skip, don't ask me because I won't tell. Unless you're really somebody to me.

I know that I shouldn't be doing this. Drowning myself in the depths of fantasy. Dreaming seems to be a thing of the past... But I want to venture into oblivion. I want to be in a state where I can be alone, where I can indulge in the comfort of your touch; your love. And then again, I knew that I'm only riding my magic carpet; the one that will take me far and wide, to a place where no one knew, to a place where I can be with you. Absurd as it may be, I know I wouldn't attain your love. The picturesque image appeared yet again in my mind. Yes, I can't let you go. No, I may never be able to do so.

And I'm on the hedge, like I always am. Not ready to cross over. The two sides ever so appealing. Science as facts and faith as fiction. Crazy ideas filled my mind. And yes, if I have the capital, I will execute them all. Ludicrous connections made logical in my mind. The prophecies of Revelation are drawing closer by the minute. Why am I not able to live life casually as I was just a few years back. Visions of the left behind came and go. I see the skies turning dark. I stood as the ground tremble in fear for the crushing universe. I don't want to know so much!

Thank you for bearing with my randomness. Say its crap. Say its nonsense. Say its just another of my post. Read it again if you don't understand. Frankly, I think that "the philosophy of man" is a subject that I should be entertaining.

Think of me.

2008-12-10T00:03:00.006+08:00

Christine

Think of me; think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me; once in a while -
please promise me; you'll try.
: When you find that, once again,; you long to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me ...
: We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember,
stop and think of me ...
: Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been ...
: Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
: Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
: Recall those days,
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,; when I won't think of you ...

Raoul: Can it be?
Can it be Christine?
: What a change!
You're really not a bit
the gawkish girl
that once you were ...
: She may not remember me,; but I remember her ...

Christine: We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but please promise me that sometimes
you will think...
ah-ah-ah-ah-aaah...; of me!

Lyrics: http://www.xs4all.nl/~josvg/cits/sb/othercds/thinkofme.html

Think Of Me (feat. Steve Bart - Sarah Brightman

burn 'em all.

2008-11-29T23:07:00.005+08:00

Was about to have my dinner when my phone started singing that familiar tune...
And I had no appetite after that.

"Hi Melvin, WenBin, the WHOLE TROOP is EXPECTED to turn up for NPC tomorrow, 1230h outside the school gate. Returning bus at 1700h."

- 29 November 2008 1926h, you-know-who.

frustrated; leave me alone.

WORK!!

2008-11-28T23:25:00.003+08:00

And so, everything progressed too quickly as usual. I was still slacking at home yesterday, mastering the art of rotting... And... Out of the Blue... I stumbled across so much work! I need a breather!

Okay. I must admit. This isn't as bad as the O' level preparation periods. Now that's what I call, taxing. This should be FUN!! =p

let's not talk about false hope.

2008-11-26T23:17:00.007+08:00

To prevent any misconceptions to why did I reject your offer for that survey. I'm writing this in the hope that you'd understand how I felt, and what's going on in my mind, so that you wouldn't take it as a form of rejection but, a form of concern.

I knew that you meant well by offering the survey to me. You wanted me to have the best that I can achieve, and to benefit from whatever sources there are around me. Deep thoughts ran through my mind and i swore that agreeing was my very first idea, but it just wasn't what I concluded.

I, too, wants you to get the best. I'm a person who can't control his emotions and so, his expressions. The will to get into a JC in me is very strong. But the fact that the surveys related to education, and thus making me lie, saying that I'd rather go to a lousy polytechnic course, placed me in a very difficult position. The need to provide our actual identities may also threaten my position as a student when it comes to promotion. That's when I thought "what if the survey really made me lose the chance of getting whatever I want" comes in. Religious teachings also mentioned quite a fair bit about lying being a sin. Now my conscious sets in. I can't go against it! It's worsened when the thought of "there's no free lunches on Earth" flashed through my head. It's just beyond my nature to do so.

You're the person who invited me to this, and I don't want to vent my anger on you if anything wrong happens. I don't want to hurt any more people around me because of my inability to control my emotions. Most importantly, I don't want you to be hurt.

It's not because I don't trust you nor anything else. I trust that you want the best for me. You want me to earn the money. But it's also because of you and my principle that paved my life, the things that stopped me from accepting the offer. I don't want that peanut sum of S$75 when I know I'd have the potential to hurt another self, especially if my victim's you. I will not take the risk. No way am I going to.

It's been 4 days and counting. The silence is unbearable. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, I'd beg to differ. The past 4 days have been terribly spent alone. Struggling with my inner-self, trying to figure out what have happened. Messages unreplied, calls unanswered. My heart's dampened with concerns and remorse. I need you back in my life. Will you answer my calls?

a change within

2008-11-25T22:38:00.005+08:00

YES. That's where I wanna be
- Over their heads; out of their control.

After putting in much effort to get rid of the ridicule the troop's facing under the charge of the previous skipper (scout overall teacher in-charge), another problem arises soon after.

Mr L, "Hi Chenxing, Zhenghao, and Sihao. How are you? For your info, we'll be going to Sarimbun Camp on Wednesday, 2pm and Thursday, 9am for NPC. Next week, KC and Jeffrey would also be conducting sailing revision and also the Chief Commision sailing test. Join us as Ventures. Please call me for more info. Hope to see you guys."

... ... ... ...

Mr L,"Please help to relay the sms to Wingkit, Ben Liew, Kin Hong, Melvin Ng, Ben Wee, and Jehian. Thank you."

- 25 November 2008, 2056h.

Seriously, what's the point of stepping down; what's the point of leaving; what's the point of joining scouts in the first place. Borned a servant; grew up as an assistant; enjoyed boys' brigade; ventured into scouts since boys' brigade isn't available - and who am I now? I learnt the art of acting, or rather, taming. In lame-man terms; a boot-licker. Scouts have taken all of me, filled me with unpleasant memories, and gave me a great deal of cca points and an admirable rank. And since, I've gotten what I have always wanted, it's time to say goodbye. The taming must stop. I must wash my hands off scouting, and I'm not gonna allow it to take my life.

My character haven't changed. As pure as ever. I admit. I love to climb, and take control. But this is too much. As long as there's anyone above me, I'd want them down. Otherwise, I'll have an axe to grind behind all that I do. My perserverance and determination attitude brought me some achievements. But no doubt, it's the game that had allowed all these additional positive remarks. I love to kill (not literally - it's more like sacking people below if I find them useless), but I can't reject. I don't know how to say "no"! I'm a total failure in this field. Why? That's the only side of me that exposes the warm-blooded inner me when I'm not supposed to be!

Rejection; teach me how to. I hate my inability to execute such a simple action. Must scout continue to stay in my mind, for eternity? Must scout be always attached to me, emtionally, physically, and psychologically? Must I continue to live my life in total darkness - the world of cold-bloodedness? I need to say no.

unexplainable.

2008-11-21T15:29:00.003+08:00

New day; great day! Miracles do come by, prayers do get answered. Why is everything so perfect recently?! Progressions for everything is just SO FAST!! And what's best. Brenda's so-called "prophecies" are all coming true. Things are all going out of the ordinary. Enemies to buddies. Dead relationships to chatting mates. I just can't stop going,"WOW!" The rain had sprung new life in the reserves, and blooming flowers had ripped off all the gloominess in my world. All things seems to appear bright and beautiful! It's only a night that changed everything. How am I supposed to tell that it's all true? I was trying my best to rationalize all the weird thoughts I have had - everything that I've heard and felt. How's all these possible without something guiding it?! Something that can change the way a person behaves, ask, do, and everything you can think off! I felt it, heard it, seen it, and... It's all unexplainable! Shall I start accepting the unseen World around us? No doubt I should! It's... Just there for me to believe! It's a night to remember. I have never felt anything like this before.

relationships or trauma?

2008-11-17T23:18:00.007+08:00

Fling after flings; game after games.
Countless friendships affected since it ever began.
Victims of relationships, scattered everywhere.
- Is what she said, all correct?

It was near midnight when I left the town.
Alone, I walked through the deserted alley behind the streets.
Memories, good and bad, flashed before my very eyes.
What on Earth had happened to me?

Oh. What will she do; what will she say?
What have I done wrong that guilt's making me think that way?!
Oh. How will she feel; how will she react?
Can anyone rip the agony off the helpless heart mine?
"Talk to her! Consult her!"
Hey! What's wrong with you people?!
"Patch up again! Reconcile with her!"
Man I tell you. It's easier said than done.

Isolated, in a World of my own.
Tormented by never-ending nonsense like these.
But what can I do to given a life like this?

Open my eyes, so that i could see,
the vast open skies, right above me.
Then help me soar, high up above the clouds.
Like an eagle, roaring majestically up the border-less skies.

But if one day, everything's gonna go wrong in my life,
All I'll need - is you by my side.

End of the O levels!!

2008-11-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

And then again, everything was over. The day that everyone's waiting for had arrived. But so what! Smiles of joy, and tears of laughters. Inevitable as they may seems, were gone in lesser than a split of a second. Left with a shell to live in. What can I do with this holiday that lasts for seemingly forever. Spending it in solitude may be a good choice though.

Okay. Why am I here talking craps.
Don't cross my bridge before I ever come to it!

Today. O level Science (physics / chemistry) paper, also the LAST paper for O levels (for me at least). I was going bonkers when I found out that I lost 2 marks in the 40 marks paper.
Whatever it was. In a blink of an eye, I've completed ALL 22 papers for O levels!

Rushed to Clarence Vile to meet her. Can't believe we compared answers all the way till we reached Redhill Station. Gosh! "The Coffin" is such a lousily written show (apparently, very little people understood the storyline even after the show ended). Squandered a lot of time in vivo city and plaza singapura. Well, at least I've got a new earpiece for my beloved phone! The route to Yishun after that was truely memorable.

At least, it happened in the end. Well, not totally. Your melodious words sang in my ears and I love it just the way it was. Your shoulders as comfortable, and your hands as warm. You're the one I am able to seek comfort from. No doubt about that. Nevertheless, teasing you still brings me great joy in my darkest times (I'm so sorry but please don't kill me or I might gain the upper hand again!)
Anyway, Thanks A LOT for today, sweetheart. =)
Oh, and get well soon!
*toldcha that you'll fall ill without me by your side. =p

Resented.

2008-11-09T22:57:00.006+08:00

There's nothing I could say; there's nothing I could do.
What does everyone around me have against me?
Can I ever be understood? Can I ever be cared for?
May silence not be my answer to life.

Can I quit acting with the rest?
Can I have a space of my own?
Just why can't they comprehend the complications within me?
No, they can't.
No one ever will.

A taming game I don't wanna be stuck in.
Forgive me for not being able to accept things that I can't see.
But you need not reprimand me for my "stupidity".
An answer would be given with simple rationalizations.
You made thoughts of escape filled my head.
- Just what's holding me back in hell!

What's with me? What's with my life?!
Is life meant to be a journey to hell - a waste of time?
If it is, then tell me why am I here in the very first place.
Cos' this is never where I belong.

Speechless.

2008-10-31T17:19:00.006+08:00

I know it's abnormal, but yeah. It's rare for me to have a dream so weird during this critical period of my life. Well, maybe not so crucial, but to the next two years of my life, it is, to me.

Okay. Last night; weird dream. I dreamt that I was overly exhausted by the DnT exam that's on the morning of the coming Tuesday. Being made to draw those never-ending dumb diagrams of circuits, levers, and all the other craps like journal questions? After that long unbearable paper, I went to the library for a short break. 4 hours seems to be like a mere 5 minutes during the rest time. SHUCKS! I was late for music paper.

I rushed over the Crescent and guess what, I can't find the exam venue! I, being as retarded as ever called my friends who already had their phones switched off. Panicky, I dashed to the hall. To my surprise, the examination have not even started when i entered. I looked at my watch. Gosh, it's some 1420! The exam should have long started! I found my seat, and calmed myself down. The hall was completely filled with non-crescent music students (like me). WOW! And yeah, they were chatting, shouting, throwing paper balls, flipping pens, walking around freely. Hello? It's a national exam! TIONG LIN WAS SEATED BEHIND ME FOR GOODNESS SAKE AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY! I wondered if I've came for the wrong exam. Double checked my entry proof. No, I did not?! It's the November 4th, 1400 paper! Gosh. What's wrong.

After a long wait, the playback finally started. I was stunted by the simplicity of the paper. Darn! Shouldn't have wasted my time on music but SS that I've screwed (hope this isn't gonna be true). Okay, question 3d, last World music question. yada yada yada... HUH?! The playback stopped?! The CPE picked up the mic and started talking. I can't remember what. He came down the stage and sat down on the table, two seats in front of me. Why am I not shocked nor frightened? Oh well, why put your results at risk because of undue nervousness? "Your examiner is your friend and wishes to award you with the best grade as they ever could." Yes, the quote ringed in my head for seemingly, forever?! Oh, and guess what. He started giving us clues to the question. I knew I was cursing the whole of question 3 because instead of those common questions, what came out was quotations from some operas from around the World (okay, the translation). The question was all asking the same thing, "describe and explain what was meant by the extract." The marks given ranges from 2 - 12?! They have got to be kidding right! I've never seen anything like this before! Then I remembered the CPE saying something like "Look at this phrase, does it tell you that the main character was actually lying to his subordinates?! That would earn you the 5 marks if you've got that point. Write down if you haven't." I was, of course, stunted, yet delighted.

After a long while into the examination, the room became stuffy. Thought their hall was air-conditioned? I checked with one of the invigilator. And he ran to the back stage after that before getting back to me. THEY FORGOT TO SWITCH ON THE AIR-CONDITION! Great. Haydn's question. The examiner lost the soundtrack for that question and wasted so much time looking for it. Man, thought they said that they would follow the time strictly huh. If I've not mistakened, they played the soundtrack only when the clock strikes 1600. Gosh, that's like... The best paper I've ever sat for?!!

I left the hall, thinking if every one's gonna be forfeited for this paper. What if we are? I can't sub my Combined Humans with Higher Music?! Gosh. Then I wouldn't be able to make it to JC? Then what the hell am I gonna do?! What've gotten into MOE?!!

I literally jumped out of bed this morning. It was 10am, and I have not replied Shi Chia's message. HAHA! Gosh. Hope that day won't turn out to be as bad. =\

Happy Halloween to everyone too! =D

untitled.

2008-10-21T22:56:00.004+08:00

English rocked! Chemistry rocked too! Everything was well done. And I will ace the rest! I will never allow my emotions to consume my appetite for good grades! All the Best! XD

A game? All in.

untitled.

2008-10-20T11:58:00.004+08:00

What the hell is wrong with 25th. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. A prisoner of my own emotions I may be. It's O level and I'm can't bring myself into giving a darn about it. Why is my heart still stuck to the previous 25th. For once, can I concentrate? It feels as if my heart was being ripped apart the more i tried to concentrate. There's nothing but emptiness in me. I CAN'T EVEN DO A SIMPLE DIFFERENTIATION OF EXPONENTIAL. I have never felt so helpless before; I have never felt so useless before. Calm down? Tell me how?! It's today for darn sake. The fate of the next few years lies with these papers. What am I to do? What can I possibly do?! If only I can delete history from my head like a computer hard disk. Oh, how i wish yeah? It's a psychological battle at my doorstep. AND I MUST WIN. Pick up the armour, close the books, calm my heart down, perk up, maintain optimism, and go for it. It'll all begin, today.

unpunctuated.

2008-10-12T18:04:00.003+08:00

A thousand miles – that’s what separated us.

Memories of you flashed through my mind.

And your messages waken my sleeping phone,

I hesitated as I tried to comprehend – your unpunctuated sentences.

You asked if my heart have changed,

I lied to lessen your already unbearable burden.

Then you confessed to me that your heart had not wobbled.

I have no idea what to tell you; my mind empty.

I opened the window, glanced at the full moon above.

Images of you appeared in my heart.

It’s impossible for us to be together, when we’re a thousand miles apart.

I don’t know what to do; I don’t know what to say.

Someone please guide me along this path.

I’ve lost all feelings for you. I’ve nothing for you now.

But I can’t bring myself to break your heart with my words of rejection.

Looking at your messages reflected on my phone,

Your hopeful words; your trust towards a foreign stranger;

I read carefully as I comprehend – your unpunctuated sentences.

Teach me how to let you go!

Because I can’t bear to see you cry.

End it here if we may,

And don’t allow misery to roam our hearts.

Broken Bridge

2008-09-15T21:04:00.005+08:00

A broken bridge between heaven and hell I stood uncertain
Fears gripped me tight when certain death stole my sight
Equal temptations from either side held my strength less hand
Cold sweat dripped down my forehead as the torture took a toll.

Hell took me, welcomed me, and accepted me
Satisfaction roamed my heart just when it started
Till the day when I truly experienced what it's like
I cried when I saw the others enjoying their lives.
Internal peace was all that I want
but a battle was starting, deep down in my heart.

In the "House of God" I found myself one day
Calmness was seen to be with me before everyone's arrival
Then when everyone occupy their time with their own work
I found a quiet spot amidst the busy workplace.

Their joy caused me sorrows; their laughters made me wonder.
What's the unexplainable feeling of forcing oneself to love when one doesn't feel like it?!
My body found physical solemnity in this empty room
But my soul was tired. Tired of the war of confusion.

Hell took me, welcomed me, and accepted me
Satisfaction roamed my heart and i loved it so much
Till the day when I truly experienced what it's like
I wondered who's the "God" they are calling out to
Internal peace was all that I want
and I can't afford to give a darn to everything else.

It's amusing why I walked out towards them
let them see how pale I was when I was tired of them
"Shut up!" my heart shouted and they said, "let's pray."
I could see that their "God"'s seeking a prey.

"God's" soldiers of counsellors packed me with never-ending love
I saw that it was all out of good will - all from "Him"
But what the hell is all this for?!
I just can't bring myself to even believe his existence!

WHO is this "God" that they claimed and worshipped?!
WHAT is the "Holy Spirit" that they insisted to be living in everyone's heart?!
WHERE is the evidence that proves these supernatural being's existence?!
WHEN is all these dust, settling?!

I hang on a snapping thread on this broken bridge of life
Tell me all this and I can't bring myself to believing.
What's actually wrong with me! To not be able to face reality like a history text?!
These are all hallucinations. These really are.

Symphony

2008-09-02T21:21:00.008+08:00

"Symphony"
Sarah Brightman
Credits: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sarahbrightman/symphony.html

I don't know what I'm supposed to say
When now suddenly you feel so far away
And you're not prepared to talk
And if you're now afraid to listen
Then I don't want to do this anymore

Oh I don't know which way that I should turn
Seems the more we love
The more we have to learn
And I keep staring into space
Like it somehow has the answer
So don't let the music end
Oh my darling

Symphony
It's gone quiet around us now
How I wish you would hold me
And that you never told me
That it's better if you leave

Look at the sun
We're starting to lose all of the light
Where we once burnt so brightly
Tell me we might be
Throwing it away

Well you don't know what you've got until it's gone
But then nothing ever hurt like holding on
I am scared and unprepared
And I feel like I am falling
So can you tell me
- Where did we go wrong?

If everything is broken
Then it's better that we give up
And remember how we once had
- Something beautiful.

I truly understood how a song expresses one's thoughts and feelings, loves.

FUN FUN FUN

2008-08-19T12:06:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I've experience this kind of peace!
Finally a proper day off! How I'd wish this period of calmness can be prolonged!
I know that I shouldn't be saying this, but I CAN'T WAIT FOR STUDY BREAKS!! =D

Replies to Tag-board:
To...

Jarell: HELLO!!!
Wei shan: My geog sucked, I'm hated in class. But I'm alright. =)
Julia: Hey! Perk up! If not we'll influence each other to frown in class...
Jingying: HELLO!!!
Cheryl: Thanks! JIAYOU to you too!
Julia: Some times you'd need to be determined and practise self-control. You can study too! Don't look down on yourself.
Yvonne: Thanks Yvonne! You too in your studies okay!
Joleen: Okay! You've said it! December holidays! Can't wait! =P

What else should I do? Sets me thinking...

Programme notes down.
Design and Technology, Artefact down (still malfunctioning).
- This is starting to take my toll. Get it outta my life!!
English essays down.
ORAL WAS YESTERDAY!!

Things I've left...

All my homeworks.
Edit my programme notes.
Practise my pieces? (duh. Prelims are coming.)
Design and Technology, JOURNAL.
- I hate it to the very core.
Chinese practises.
Put my heart and soul into the subjects I'm trying to Love.
- MATHEMATICS & SCIENCES.
Memorize all the SS topics from both sec 3 and 4 books.
Read through Geog textbook, at least once a week.

Okay okay. Shan't list anymore. This is enough to kill. Haha.
Alright. I've slacked enough for now.
Back to work!

Don't talk about it.

2008-08-13T09:53:00.011+08:00

Depressed, yet expected.

I scored much lower than before.
Cheers of failures roamed the assembly grounds,
I wept as I left the crowd.
"High 5 man, I scored as low as you!"
Enthusiasm of those people turned into laughter.
For darn sake, I am NOT retaking.

I knew it all - It's fate.

Shall I just focus on other subjects?
History is something, one will never forget.
Yes! I must ace all the rest of my remains.
Then he told me, "Just leave it. You'll fail."
What kind of teachers, our school contains?
Useless, not determined, and not knowledgeable.
He failed in the past for all I care.
I want to write an "A", on his desk!

Depressed, I am.
Don't bother talking to me now.
Leave me alone, if you don't want trouble.
For I, am trying to swallow my sorrows down my heart;
Trying to continue with Life.

Darn school, for whoever I am,
I'm never gonna give a darn.
Leave me alone for I am not yours.
Never yours, in fact.
Never yours to care!

Thanks Brenda for your support. =)
I'll consider retaking.
Bear our "contracts" in mind!
All the best for the coming Orals.
-August 14th, 2306 hours.

Socializing Websites = Scams?

2008-08-08T21:44:00.003+08:00

Oh my goodness...
I was just about to surf for nice English MP3s and this yahoo website caught my attention.

Online social networking sites are hacker playgrounds

AFP - Friday, August 8

LAS VEGAS (AFP) - - Computer security researchers on Thursday warned that online social networking websites are playgrounds for hackers who can easily take advantage of people's trust.

Opportunities for mischief abound as users place intimate details of their lives on profile pages and install mini-applications made by strangers that don't always have their privacy at heart.

In a trend pioneered with tremendous success by Facebook, social networking websites have opened their operating platforms to let outside developers craft fun, hip, or functional software "widgets" that can be added to profile pages.

Malicious code can be hidden in such applications, computer security specialists Nathan Hamiel and Shawn Moyer said at a premier Black Hat conference in Las Vegas.

"I can't necessarily attack Facebook or MySpace, but I can attack their users all day long," Moyer told AFP. "Don't put anything on a Facebook account that you don't consider public."

People are prone to place faith in social networking widgets and links from friends, said Idea Information Security consultant Nathan Hamiel.

"People are going nuts adding applications they don't need," Hamiel told AFP.

"Every time they do that they are showing an implicit trust in whoever wrote the application, and most people don't know who that is."

Hamiel and Moyer showed peers software capable of plundering profile information, swiping people's "friends," or locking people out of their own MySpace pages.

A pair of MySpace engineers who attended the demonstration said that hacks are known risks in today's social platforms and that they had Hamiel's application deleted by the end of the talk.

Fake postings on comment boards advising people to update software are ways to trick social network users into downloading malicious software that can commandeer control of machines, Hamiel said.

"Social networks really don't care if you get pawned or not," Hamiel said, using slang referring to a computer user being dominated and humiliated by hackers.

"People know if they go on a computer and download a program they could get a virus. They don't have the same view of how dangerous that can be on a social networking site."

Hackers can write seemingly legitimate widgets that "go rogue" after spreading to enough social network members, according to Hamiel.

"It is not a problem with a particular site," Hamiel said. "It is a problem with social networking in general."

Even if tainted applications are deleted, the odds are that the data from profile pages was already copied onto an outside computer, according to Hamiel and Moyer.

"MySpace and Facebook have no control over my servers," Hamiel said. "Once the content is moved from their site they have no control over that."

Those thinking that they will stay safe by not having social networking pages may still vulnerable to trouble, according to the security specialists.

Another ruse is to create social networking profiles for people using information mined from the Internet and then for the imposters to send out "friends requests."

Those that take the bait give open doors to the private data in their profiles.

"We think you should make a profile for yourself before somebody else does," Moyer said. "Just don't put anything there that you don't consider public. And trust, but verify when people want to be your friend."

-Yahoo News Singapore. (http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080808/ttc-us-it-internet-crime-social-0de2eff.html)

Shocked? Left speechless? Not knowing what to do next?
Oh c'mon. I too, uses such websites. So let's take it's advice, and be more careful when you're online, surfing those socializing websites!

It's 08/08/08, people!
Happy Olympics Day!
Happy ASEAN DAY!
Happy National Day's EVE!!

Living Dead.

2008-08-04T11:13:00.011+08:00

In the crowded city that we knew best,
stood a silent living dead.
He came to seek for a chance of revival,
but he left without saying a word.

The crowded street - He may be in.
He sees no one, but that empty corridor.
Noises of strangers, buzzed around his ears.
He hears no one, but his hollow breath.

Tried his best to join in; indifference was what he'd got.
He tried to break the barrier; He never succeed before.
Acceptance was what he longed for.
But it's ignorance that he thought he has.
For all that he once felt - have left.

Isolation. An attractive route.
The search for a person went on.
Family and friends' comforting hands fingered on his shoulder.
This ain't the love / care he's looking for.

He laid himself down, closed his eyes.
There's no meaning to life but a tedious wait.
The selfless life, led by many.
A torture. Seen in his eyes.

He stepped out of the circle of life.
He gave no comments.
Come what may, he will say no word,
as his dream of revival - vanished without a trace.

A life alone - A life of his own.
No friends; No acceptance.
He awaits for the end of time.

I'm tired.
Very tired.
I've no idea what I'm posting.
I'm sorry if you've read the whole post of crap.
Maybe a break from school might calm myself down.

Quizzo!!

2008-07-31T23:01:00.003+08:00

I know I'm a little slow but I really just saw this quiz when I tagged at Joleen's blog.
I'm so sorry Jo! I'll do it now okay!

1. The person who last tag you is?
★Joleen.
2. Your relationship with him/her is?
★Friend.
3. Your five impression of him/her?
★I've only met her once. But I'll try my best. Err.. She's nice, and kind-hearted with the heart to help. A gifted Counsellor.
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
★We Chatted over the phone?
5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
★"I hate you."
6. If he/she become your lover, you will?
★CANNOT be ! Way too impossible. - Can I copy her previous answer?
7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
★That will never happen between us. - Can I again, copy her answer?
8. If he/she become your enemy, you will?
★ Not talk to her perhaps?
9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be?
★MY ATTITUDE problems?
10. The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is?
★CHAT OVER THE PHONE! I'm dying of boredom.
11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
★ Nice, self-less, and daring to share / open.
12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
★"eee. Why he so dao4 one."
13. The characters you love of yourself are?
★Me? I've no idea why I'm always stuck with girls, outside school. But they are sure a nicer group of people to spend time with!
14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are?
★You know what. Can I keep this to myself?
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
★ I want to be myself!
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them?
★I'm never worth anyone's love and care. I'm only something that wastes Earth's limited space and resources.
17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you:
1) ★Calvin Lim
2) ★Raymond
3) ★Vickalyna
4) ★Bao Sian
5) ★Gek Hwee
6) ★Yick Ting
7) ★Mun Yee
8) ★Neo Yi Wei
9) ★Cheryl
10) ★Wei Shan
18. Who is no.6 having relationship with?
★I've no idea.
19. Is no.9 a male or female? ★Female.
20. If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
★NO?! <-That's the answer!
22. What is no.2 studying about?
★How'd I know? Things essential to life?
23. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
★A few months ago?
24. What kind of music band does no.8 like?
★It'd be cool if I knew!
25. Does no.1 have any siblings?
★I've absolutely no idea. I doubt so anyway.
26. Will you woo no.3?
★Erm. No? Think she's attached.
27. How about no.7?
★THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA DO THAT!
28. Is no.4 single?
★Obviously not?
29. What is the surname of no.5?
★Ho
30. What 's the hobby of no.4?
★I think it should be playing scrabble...
31. Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
★They don't even knw each other:/ <-That's the answer!
32. Where is no.2 studying at?
★Some West Malaysia Selangor school? - I forgot it's name.
33. Say something casually about no.1:
★He's good in his academically
34. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
★Of course not! He's a Well, GUY?!
35. Where does no.9 live at?
★Along the NE line.
36. What colour does no.4 like?
★I've no idea!
37. Are no.5 and 1 best friend?
★Friends maybe, schoolmates.
41. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
★If she is, I'm blind.
42. What is no. 10 doing now?
★Should be mugging her brain juices out.

Well, I guess this shows how anti-social I am.
I don't even know my friends.
Sighs. Those selected people do your quiz okay!

Teach me how...

2008-07-30T01:48:00.002+08:00

Spiritual Life v.s. Social Life.
Social Life v.s. Academic.
Academic v.s. Self Determination.
Self Determination v.s. Health.
Health v.s. Performance.

A balanced life?
Or is it not?

"If you don't score your Aces, who will?"
"Don't worry about me, focus on your other subjects."
"Let's go and have lunch!"
"DO YOUR ASSIGNMENTS!!"
"Remember that you're still holding onto a rank!"
"She's your good friend, talk to her."
"I've no time, go away!"

Self-control! Hey, C'mon! You can do it! Stand up! Pick yourself up! Don't be distracted by those nonsense! Who cares about them! You lead your own life! Your life don't belongs to them! FOCUS, your heart and mind! Focus them on the things that you're trying to do, or you won't accomplish anything! Not say accomplish, starting is already a very big problem! Stop scrolling down the opened windows! Restrict yourself! Practise self-control! Humble yourself down and do what you're supposed to do! Ignore the outside World! Be anti-social! Isolate yourself from others! Don't think about expressions! Friends are obstructions! Objects are devil's tools! Close your eyes! See nothing but your work!

Ignore them! - WHO IS YOUR FRIEND?!
Don't stare at those! - ARE THEY WORTH YOU LOOKING AT?!
Stop whatever you're doing! - GET BACK TO WORK!
What's most important now? - REVISE FOR YOUR UPCOMING EXAMINATIONS!

But the thing is...
I just simply can't focus with my ever-flowing chain of thoughts...

Interesting!

2008-07-26T00:03:00.004+08:00

This post's supposed to be referring to what happened on July 25th but due to some unexpected late returning of me, it's posted after midnight.

This few days have been somewhat interesting, despite those lack-of-sleep experiences, dozing off in-between classes, frustrations brought by school work, and everything else. Today's a good example of such typical experience.

During Chanbara Class, PE lesson...
Instructor, "You all better perform with efficiency and speed, complete the relay system by at most 4 minutes on the August the 29th if you don't want to bring undue stress upon yourselves."
Zeus, "Pss! CX! What's undue! Ang-mo class!"
Me, (lost for words due to the sudden outburst of English question in a PE lesson.) "erm....."
Zeus, "You don't know ah! Unnecessary larh! Bo-doh!"
Me, "Oh right."

Oh gosh! How can Zeus, a typical F9, English Band 5 student, leave a Band 2 student speechless over some really really trivial matters?! It's rather obvious that he've been trying his best to upgrade by... Application methods? Well, at least he lived up to the Quest Secondary creed, "... to ask many many questions when necessary!" HA HA!!!

Met Tab. She's just, too good a pianist.

Left for City hall! Mug at MacDonald's, with the study corner occupied. Urgh! I just hate that feeling of mugging in the open, alone. Squandered the rest of the time away, waiting impatiently for the piano recital by the Thai pianist. He's, really good!

Shan't elaborate too much on the details. Going off for supper now! It's gonna be a long day tomorrow! Shenyang students are coming, again! What's more, their first destination in Singapore will be the school! WOW! How exciting! Gotta prepare for it!

Work hard? - Just for now.

2008-07-21T20:43:00.006+08:00

人间的变化；人性的改变；时代的变迁;历史的悲剧。

As the days are being counted down, they see no fear. Just what have the ancient urge of urgency went to? Celebrations after celebrations, I watched as the time ticked away. When will they come to realise, the limitations in Life, given this ever-changing World?
"The World knows no peace, and rest."
Yes. What have actually happened to the society we all live in? We're living in hell because of globalization?
We've gone through thus much - Is this it?!

The break's over and school begins.
Mourning Monday blues loomed just everyone's heart.
But then again, it's Racial Harmony Day!
A nap in the stuffy hall would take place once again.

Wonder of all wonders in school,
the speaker sings, "Quando, quando, quando!"
Was this a true Racial Harmony Celebration?
hmm... This really makes me wonder.

Numbness, lessons, and delayed recess.
Oh allow me some time alone!
Run! Faster, faster, FASTER!!
We're all late for class!

The clock strikes eleven-fifteen.
Crap, I've not done my math!
"Oh, when's the teacher coming?"
The cheerings begin to sound.

And then again, the crap begun.
Just in the midst of all these stress.
Oh man! Where's the will to study?
When the exam's just - There!

Eleven minus seven equal four.
It may be just four months to freedom.
seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
But there's five months of intense torture ahead!

Perhaps a relief from those Monday Blues?
Perhaps it's laziness that's taking a toll?
Let's not be bothered about those around,
and continue working hard - Just for now.

我的祷告

2008-07-17T19:21:00.002+08:00

生命的道路我步行中
生活的曲子我耳边飘泊
路旁的景象我完全不明白
我幼小的心灵何时才能领会那生命的意义

我在床上转了几下
生命的悲剧在我面前浮现
听着他人不停的宣告：“神爱世人！”
那你又如何解释 — 眼前的一切？

我们要爱爱着周围的人
尽心的；尽意的，让他走上真理路
我要欢喜我要歌唱
把主的爱带到他人心中！

但我无法向前；无法踏出
这那么第一步
我看见他人，狠狠的鞭打
那造他们的上主！

看着世间失去了人情；看见人间失去了自尊
从前的爱 — 在哪里？
看着罪恶在世上的权力
我呼喊：“上帝，在哪里？！”

这世上的一切，我还是不明白
— 神为何这样行。
我空虚的心灵仍然在黑暗里争扎。

人们常说 — 我们要爱爱着周围的人
尽心的；尽意的，让他走上真理路。
我要欢喜我要歌唱
把主的爱带到他人心中！

种种见证，摆在我面前
听到之时把它当笑话。
圣经的教导我听过了一些，
我抬头问上主：“那我如何？”

我的心在空虚里争扎
我的灵不肯相信。
心里想：“生命的意义，何处找？”
就听到：“祷告，因为我渺小。”

虚空的生命 — 不好过
孤独的人生 — 怎么走
我要个伴 — 她却离弃我
世上还有谁 — 能爱与照管我？

会友的生命 — 无忧也无虑
他们的爱心他们的关怀
处处感动我
我坚定心志，说：“我要过着他们的生命！”

我要学爱学爱那破碎的心灵
尽心的；尽意的，让他走上真理路。
我要填补我要关怀
把主爱带到他人的心中！

I Need - TIME.

2008-07-14T19:17:00.010+08:00

English, Chinese, Mathematics and Science.
These are the basics, of human life.
So where are, those arts and humanities?
-Why did you ask?!
They are chunk right behind me!

Oh why did you, just leave them aside?
They are part of your JC criterias!
Don't you want to pursue your dreams?
-Why hesistate!
Start working on them tonight!

Coursework, setwork, and never-ending journal writing.
They are expensive and very time consuming.
Theory, practical and constant scoldings.
-How am I to carry on?
Drop the subject if you need!

Lessons, remedials, tutorials, and workshops.
Swallowing sweets faster than flowing water.
Tutions, practices, CIP and investiture.
Oh my gosh!
I've just missed 4 periods of lessons!

Staggering workloads, covered my desk.
Catching my breath, as I continued running.
I need a place, a place for my mug.
-Oh darn it!
I spilled my coffee!

Sleepless nights, spent alone.
Among with practise papers, as my fateful partners.
Then come daybreak, I can't walk straight.
-Look, I'd better be alright.
For O's Listening Compre!

Oh Semibreves, with a tie.
On the vocal, melody line.
Just when will this piece ever end?
Teachers all say,
"3 more months! Work doubly hard okay!"

Semibreves, with a tie.
Can I insert a rest inside?
A breath is all I need to catch.
-"I'm so sorry."
"So why can't you put in your best, for this last, -lap?!"

Run run run! Yes I'll run!
Complete this lap, with all I have!
"But don't run too fast!"
-Whooops!
This last leap, brought me over the hedge.

I'm not so dumb! I know my limits.
Mistakes are inevitable, but please don't make many.
Look at the brighter side!
-And say,
"Oh look! O's almost over!"

Thank God, it is not 639.
I guess that piece, goes on forever.
Tell me if education's meant to be...
-Gasps.
A torture for all 21st century students?!

Now it's school, along with me.
Perhaps also with a tie?
Can't I just manipulate the rule,
and breathe in some fresh air?
- "I'm so sorry."
"But you no longer have the time".

Sixteen!!

2008-07-11T23:47:00.007+08:00

Thanks Jayne jiejie for accompanying me through this special day!!

A beautiful day with an unfortunate beginning.
I was pissed with the school unknowingly. Perhaps because of the bus that seemingly took a day to come, causing me to be late, or something else, on this special day itself? I see this poem gaining a stand in my handbook.

Behind those pairs of eyes.

Their eyes filled with arrogant,
With time standing ridiculously still.

These tears parallel to their eyes,
Hoping a bent in those rigid rules.

They pronounces "time" as "thumb",
"Foyer" as "For-yay".
Just what are we in their eyes?
-Those self-centered, arrogant eyes.

Their head's filled with undeniable knowledge.
They have got their certificates.
Just why won't they understand the basics of humanities?
I thought as I stared firmly into those eyes.

"Every action has it's consequences..."
-They said, rolling, their eyes.
Perhaps they understood their mistakes?
Since Mutual Respect's removed from their core values.

The ministry - we may always blame.
Never knowing who's the main culprit.
But deep in our hearts, we hide from others
- A secret hidden behind these teary eyes.

And so, life went on. An ordinary day was what I wished it was, with extraordinary results. Almost everyone I knew left for Ngee Ann for this course that I found useless, leaving only Jiuying in the class, studying with me. It's not too bad though, I've really got to thank her for being there actually! I can't imagine how's everything going to be without anyone by my side.

Felt so selfless upon leaving Crescent. I, being a non-literature student, actually helped in the setting up for the literature festival that will take place tomorrow! Amazing. It'd be better if Vivien didn't shout my name and a "Happy Birthday" in that crowded bus stop that made so many wandered who I am.

Left for Parkway! I got onto the wrong bus. Thankfully the bus went to somewhere I knew, else I won't be able to meet Jayne on time. Dinner was great! VJC Piano Ensemble Recital was better! Frankly, it was much better than last year's recital. Met Ningrong, as bold as ever. Well, I can't be bothered to follow her again.

Now I'm currently feeling really sorry for Jayne. She've been working all day, taken a few hours off her busy schedule just for me. Now, she's back to work without rest. Hope that she'll rest early and be recharged for the activities in store tomorrow!

Sorry but Thanks again Jayne!!
If you're reading this, don't tell me not to be sorry okay?

Brenda, you've disappointed me. =|

"Speechless..."

2008-07-09T20:01:00.008+08:00

"I need to talk to you..."
- Okay. Make it quick, I'm tired!
"You can't accompany Brenda."
- WHAT?! Whatever. I've not actually started practising.
"We need you to change your mentality."
- Whatever. Just jump to the conclusion will you?!
"You have to stick to your Waltz no matter how hard it may be."
- Come on. Music is about likings NOT TIMINGS.
"Unless you call up Tabitha. She've a whole list of nice pieces."
- I'm not as pro. I need TIME to practise!
"She's a fast learner, so you don't have to worry."
- WHAT ABOUT MYSELF?!
"You're being accessed, not her. Make up your mind. Tabitha don't have to. Actually, she never does."
- Yes, I don't have to know. What's your point?!
"I want to hear from you tomorrow."
- WHAT?! I NEED TIME TO THINK AND GO THROUGH THE SCORES!!
"So make sure you e-mail us A.S.A.P."
- Whatever. I'll try my best to then. Darn.

Recently.

2008-07-02T23:54:00.002+08:00

I LOVE My English Teacher!!! =D

It's seriously a pity that such a nice poster like the one above isn't found in Quest. Look, the band 2 & 5 teacher's such a good teacher! Although she can be crazy at times, but she's able to control her emotions very well! Given my knowledge about her, I can't really judge her about her teaching skills but I seriously thinks that she's a good teacher. As what that's written on the poster, "I LOVE MY ENGLISH TEACHER!"

It's been quite a while since I last posted. Well, not too long ago though - just last Friday. Many things happened this week... But I'd just want to stress on a point - this week is filled with NO-FUN-AT-ALL!!!!

The tools along with the materials.
The machine, and its switches.
Lined up in front of my eyes.

Words started running in my head,
saying, "Gasps, I'm so dead."
Interrupted by some really disturbing...
"Oi!! Do your work!"

And so, Design & Technologies lessons begun the scheduled 20 hours of utter tedium in the stuffy workshop one. Faced with the not-so-new machines after one year of separation seems really weird. Friends aren't the same as they used to be! Now, time doesn't allow me to get used to them again. What am I going to do???

Music was seriously boring. Not the same as it used to be! Ms L happened to be extremely kind and thoughtful today, although there's still so many who feared her. Maybe she've found a boyfriend (I feel so evil)? Or perhaps, she's just in a good mood. Oh well. Sorry for the longwinded paragraph above. Just one point for music - Local poems isn't good for composing...

Slaves of a Taming Game.

2008-06-27T13:49:00.005+08:00

0 and 3 are actually nice numbers.
But not when they're placed together.

They are the supposing new batch of free birds.
Those with ambitions that'd enable them to soar up high.
Just why must they manipulate their rulable lifes?
Leaving their life-long dream on unworthy hands, condemned.

Melvin," D'you know that you're selected to go for the npc after your Os?"
Me, "Me?! Can't be. Since when'll I go?! Who said that?"
Melvin, "Don't you know? It's all instructed by Mr Lim."

25th Hour.

2008-06-26T04:20:00.003+08:00

It's currently 4:28 in the morning, and I'm still at a loss.
I've absolute no idea why am I staying up so late,
every single night.
Homework streaming in faster than one can cope.
Not including something called tuition,
that worsens them all.

Time table hastily packed by the school committee.
Ruined students' learning stamina.
And when one found exam's nearing.
People will start rejecting important lessons.

Given my working pace throughout the past few days.
I seriously doubt I can accomplish anything.
Soon pressure were asserted slowly onto you.
Time will then not be by your side.

I NEED A 25th HOUR!

you're alone.

2008-06-21T19:18:00.004+08:00

The applause faded, silence entered.
Emotion stirred, lost in his own World.
Eyes focused, he was on his own
Tension aroused, he knows not what to do.

The first words said; the first note played.
This is the beginning and the end.
Continue, or it'd be a squander.
Since there's no turning back.

Memories flashed before him.
He was engulfed in his own work.
A dream that he'd never want to wake up from,
Left him blank and alone.

Questions filled his mind.
Perhaps, faster than a lightning strike.
There doesn't seemed to be an answer for them,
As he was left stranded, all alone.

A sudden fumble was heard from the front.
A sign of distress could be seen on his face.
Only then he heard another voice from afar,
"Move on confidently and all will be over."

The last note played; The crowd took over.
Applause filled the hall, a mark of completion.
Every thing ended in a split of a second.
He was left, lost for words.

He stood up and faced the crowd.
His steps, heavy.
His head's spinning; His hand's tired.
He bowed.

No sound was heard for the next few moments.
Thoughts of what happened ran through him.
He recalls nothing.
Except the dream-like vision that flashed before him.

He found respite amidst the cheering.
Quiet as it seemed, he closed his eyes.
A whole new World of memories laid in front of him.
He took on the path and walked towards the misty surroundings.

"What are you doing?"
He found himself brought back into reality.
The crowd continued to cheer; The music continued playing.
Once again, he was lost in reality, alone.

The piano recital ended quite smoothly last night.
It all started in Esplanade on March 28th, 2007 when our teacher suddenly announced that a piano recital should be held somewhere, sometime. And so it really happened. It was, in overall, quite a success despite the occasional hiccups of the performers (the class). Loneliness and resentments were inevitable, but all in all, I'd like to experience it all again (I must have gone insane last night)!

4 in the Morning!

2008-06-19T20:59:00.008+08:00

Click on Enlarge.
Pay attention to those markings.

June 19th, 2008!! A memorable day indeed!! Stayed up all night to finish my music composition for the November 2007 paper as practise. How dumb I was! I even set aside the sostenuto pedal (the piano's middle pedal), thinking that I can practise my "O" level solo practical minor piece without disturbing others! I even thought that given my many years of learning the piano, the extreme dynamics of the piece could be easily overcome by playing the piece softly altogether. Come to think about it, I'd say that my actions then was just simply, amusing. Just so, unexpected!!

The feeling of loneliness came. It isn't a stranger to me after all! Almost when I've decided to spend the night alone, somebody logged on to msn. (Notice the time)

,晨星; 23°to true north. says (2:52 AM):

hahaa

i thought u've slept.

anyway, hello and good morning

{: V. says (2:52 AM):

hahaha

{: V. says (2:52 AM):

hello (:

{: V. says (2:53 AM):

gooodmorning

So here goes, I began chatting with the kindhearted Vivien who just can't seemed to sleep. The progress on my composition was slow, but the thought of my unproductivity never came to me as she continued to fill my lonesome night with amusement!
Time passes pretty quickly when one's actually enjoying oneself. I've totally no idea why I'd come out with the idea of listening to "4 in the Morning" by Gwen Stefani when the clock strikes 4, but I'd just suggested it. And so we did. Though we didn't manage to play it exactly at 4, we'd managed to play it between 4 and 5 am in the morning! That's also within the 4:something am range. Though it's kind of weird to celebrate such an event, but it's quite fun when you've totally no idea what to do at this hour. If you wants to know what's on the picture, but are too lazy to enlarge it, here's the part of the conversation that was reflected in the picture.

{: V. says (4:00 AM):

HAPPY 4 O CLOCK IN THE MORNING! ;D

{: V. says (4:00 AM):

kay random

{: V. says (4:00 AM):

Hahahaa

,晨星; 23°to true north. says (4:00 AM):

HAPPY 4 O CLOCK IN THE MORNING TO YOU TOO!! =D

Happy 4 o'clock in the morning!! Sometimes, weird inspirations may come by when boredom sets into part of one's life.

Lesson's was boring. As usual, the main character was late for class. If you were to ask me, who else can it most probably be? Right, so the lesson ended one and a half hours earlier than the expected 12. This left me with just too much time to waste before meeting my parents for some shopping trip. So I had this very nice time jamming with Tab. She's just too good with her transposition and her listening that I can't catch what she's playing! Well, she'd still have to work on her "Turkish March" and I need more revision on it too till the day whereby I can play it with her like how I played it with Nelson last year.

I was unfortunately tagged by Jee Wang to do some really retarded quiz. I'd hope it'd not take much time... I'VE TO PRACTISE FOR THE RECITAL TOMORROW!!
But I'm still going to do this first for fun!

THE QUIZ
A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs
and replace any question that they dislike with a new question
formulated by themselves.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse
or they will get bad grades.

These people must state who they're tagged by and cannot tag the person
whom they were tagged by. Continue this game and send it to other people.

Tagged unfortunately by: Tan Jee Wang

-If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
Can I not answer? I'd be emotional of course.
-If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
I want to lead a carefree life with someone I'd Love!
-What would your dream wedding be like?
As grand as possible, in a cathedral with thousands watching!
-Are you confused about what lies ahead of you?
I'd like to know though I know very well that I'm not the one in control!
-What's your ideal lover like?
Thoughtful; Optimistic; Cheerful; Simple; Easy-going.
-Is it more blessed to love or be loved?
Must you ask this?? It'd be everyone's dream to be loved!
-How long would you wait for someone you really love?
As long as time would allow.
-If your secret crush is attached, what would you do?
Do nothing about it. Give it up (though I never does).
-Is there anything that made you unhappy these days?
Hey it's something SO PERSONAL! Yeah there is.
-Is being tagged fun?
NEVER!!
-How do you see yourself in 10 years?
I'd want to be a music geographer, helping out in evangelistic work elsewhere.
-Who are the most important people to you?
My Family; My Close Friends (you know who you're!)
-What kind of person is the person who tagged you?
WEIRD, TALL, STRONG, BORING, nicknamed: King of Chickens.
-Would you rather be a single & rich or married but poor?
It's the QUALITY OF LIFE THAT COUNTS!! You'd know my answer.
-What's the first thing you do in the morning?
Stone on my bed.
-Would you give all in a relationship?
Defy all please.
-If you wanted to do two things at once, how do you decide what to do?
Just do both.
-What type of friends do you like?
Easy-going. CUTE!! Open. Most importantly, OPTIMISTIC!!
-Do you have a pet?
Relative pets in my house counted?
-What will you do if you were to spend the rest of your life alone?
WHAT?! I think I'd just die.

LISTEN UP PEOPLE!!
You're tagged!!
-Jarell,
-Benjamin,
-Charmaine,
-Cheryl,
-Joel,
-Joleen,
-Laiweng,
-Yickting.

Okay.
That's about it. Oh.
And whoever's reading this, are invitied to the Crescent O level music class's
piano recital!
Please leave after the 3rd person and come back before the 5th person starts,
because the 4th slot can be treated as an interval!
Okay. I've done my part here. PIANO TIME!!!

GEOGRAPHY FIELD TRIP '08!!!

2008-06-13T23:18:00.005+08:00

In a blink of an eye, our memories of the trip flashed past. Many asked, "Why does this ended so early?". And ended with no definite answer in reply. Was it a memorable trip? It definitely was! Resentments, frustrations, and irritations were unavoidable, but the overall performance of everyone was truly unforgettable.

As the lonesome source of light in our darkened rooms dimmed, thoughts of regrets took over my senses. Just wondering if I'm a jinx, the hex of this field trip. Everything seems to not go on smoothly with my presence. Whatever it might be, the field trip's over and I'd too place everything behind.

Day one was perhaps the most unforgettable day of this trip. I waited till morning and found out that my mother didn't knew about my expired passport. Fortunately, my dad took up the challenge of bringing me all the way to catch up with the group after having my passport extended. Although it's my 3rd time visiting an Orang Asli's tribe, the Orang Asli's still a tribe that never fails to amaze me with their hunting skills! From weapons to animal traps. From health care to survival. It's an insight for an urban student like me. An eyeopener i should say, to know that there's actually so much to learn in nature!

Orang Asli's method of Rice cooking using bamboo.

Day two, a day filled with total excitement and fun! Cottage industry visits was actually the first visit that was guided using Chinese! Really, unexpected. It's always cool to enjoy the passing wind as you speed in a vehicle, but this ride of life can never be replaced by any speeding experience one might have in the City. Speeding at nearly 90km/h on uneven roads in a hilly region... By describing the region, one might actually be mesmerized by the thrill we had! However, the fun isn't as simple as that! We were actually standing on the seats of a pickup-look-alike 4 wheel drive vehicle without any shelter above our heads and definitely no windscreen shielding us from the incoming branches up ahead! Imagine the thrill in stored for us!
Cave exploration? The thought of it sends shivers down your spine with an image of an incredibly dangerous expedition that are normally done by only daredevils. Just what tempted me to enter that pitch dark cave with the rest of the daredevils in my school? The cave was pitch dark, dry, dusty, muddy at some point, badly vandalised, with countless bats staying in it. Unpleasant everyone'd say. And I went in.

The butterfly shaped exit of the Cave; The 4 of us on the 4-wheel-drive.

Day three left us with perhaps the most unpleasant memories when everything was rushing. No proper meals were ate and no proper visitation done. Despite these obstacles in our way, we'd still managed to have a proper forest trek in FRIM! With an amusing instructor!

This was planted by man.

After so much fun, we'd not forgetting the last hotel we'd stay in and it's state, Selangor. The petronas towers stands tall against the sunlight, but we'd never have a chance to enter it. Just a glimpse of it from afar isn't as satisfying sometimes. Although somewhere deep within our dampened spirit, a thorn was forming, but it was soon removed by the thought of the checking in to the next hotel!

The Petronas Towers and us!!

Hotel was amazing! 5-stars, some might say, but at the end of the day, it's still an average hotel if you were to ask me. Blame it on the power trip when I was bathing and the time taken for them to send a repairman to check on the problem. As amazing as it may seemed, we'd still had loads of fun in it despite the frequent checks of the teachers and the feeling of being wronged by the hotel staffs. It's just shocking when a group of hotel occupant, occupying the room beside Jee Wang's room started singing "Happy Birthday to You" and people from my school started kicking their door. It's a mistake for all I know. The person who sang that Birthday song just sounded like PZ. Maybe that lured the rest of the 4A and B guys into banging on their door and wronged us while having supper. Oh yes! I'm only treating pizza for this once okay!

Click to enlarge.

Last day!! That's also, today!! Time flies, leaving with every moment of our lives out of reach from our future. I've just this everlasting urge to go back and complete those activities that I've done in the past few days! How I wish a time-machine's invented. Organic farm was quite okay although the food provided actually spoilt my appetite. for everything. This however, didn't dampen my spirit to harvesting those appetizing Kang Kongs!!

Just too much Kang Kongs!

Time isn't with us as we depart from the farmhouse back to Singapore. Footsteps' left behind isn't reclaimable. Ahead of us lies only a few weeks of tedium, adventure, fun, stress, hard work and resilience to "O" levels. How are we going to fare, depends on our mental stamina now. Ad mist all these stress and work, we must nevertheless not forget what we've learnt during the trip and perhaps, use it if necessary for the "O"s geography paper!

*Note: I can see why today's unlucky. Thanks Brenda for your reminder! It's Friday the 13th!

Server's Insight!

2008-06-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

Serving in church can be of great fun! The last T. A jamming session, held last Saturday, June 7^th, was unfortunately a pretty unproductive one. Well, can't blame the tremendous stress it's band members are facing in their own schools and workplaces... Despite all the lack of enthusiasm in the team's members, we'd still performed well and manage to get one song presentable! Hey! That's an ACCOMPLISHMENT!
Service was, amusing. I can't really help but grin to myself like a retarded audience. My sore throat's a good thing after all! It prevented me from bursting into laughter in the middle of the sermon but allowed some space to just shake my head in disapproval to some of the things he's saying.
A last minute duty at the offertory sector was most unexpected. I was quite shocked when the head of the youth server's committee also helped in the absence of more than 2 members. This chance brought me a new insight to how people can actually treat the money that they actually want to give as offerings! How disrespectful... Anyway, I had a hard time unfolding it given the small size of that $2 note.
Tomorrow will be the departure date for the Geography trip to KL! How exciting! Will update again after the trip! Oh, I've not started packing. Whoops! *gasps*

Sometimes, I just hated paper cranes.

Shouting through the Hollow Throat.

2008-06-06T15:26:00.005+08:00

June the 6th marks the end of the scheduled holiday's lessons. A joyous day waiting to unfold it's pleasant scent of wonders it may seemed; When the Sun rise to a new beginning of another day in the tropical city; When the birds chips with songs of joy in their carefree way of life; When the trees sway to the never ending wind from the cool blue ocean; When most students celebrates the end of their 2 extended weeks of lesson in the June holidays; When a darkened truth in me changed my thoughts about my vocal health.

The day was young. I swallowed my very first pills down my ever-dry throat and hurried off to school without saying a word. Everything seemed fine till I attempt to answer my table partner’s question. Words were stuck within me with gasps of air flowing through my hollow throat. I tried hard but it seemed to worsen every time I opened my mouth. I never knew this day would come to me. Medication filled my daily timetable. Oh you ever-confident me! What have you done wrong? Now you're forced to temporarily give up on all those things that you have always liked to do... Isn't this what you deserve?

I'VE LOST MY VOICE.

分手后的夜

2008-06-05T22:37:00.006+08:00

话都没说

就看到你泪光闪烁

我只好走
怕你看到我更难过
路好长心好累
分手的勇敢越走越远
爱空白白的夜
想要逃逃不掉
还是担心着你好不好

分手后的夜
泪都流干了整夜不能睡
没有晚安的时间一个人面对
谁默默的退到不快乐
分手后的夜
你的泪让我放不下一切
你可想过我伤悲是否能面对
我让爱断了线我没有后悔
空白的夜梦才能相连

路好长心好累
分手的勇敢越走越远
爱空白白的夜
想要逃逃不掉
还是担心着你好不好
分手后的夜
泪都流干了整夜不能睡
没有晚安的时间一个人面对
谁默默的退到不快乐
分手后的夜
你的泪让我放不下一切
你可想过我伤悲是否能面对
我让爱断了线我没有后悔
空白的夜梦才能相连

分手后的夜
泪都流干了整夜不能睡
没有晚安的时间一个人面对
谁默默的退到不快乐
分手后的夜
你的泪让我放不下一切
你可想过我伤悲是否能面对
我让爱断了线我没有后悔
空白的夜梦才能相连

歌曲：分手后的夜作曲：陈好歌词：陈好
Lyrics Source: http://mp3.baidu.com/

Quiet Times.

2008-05-31T19:53:00.004+08:00

Holidays - A time that allows those who deserves to be pampered, a rest; and a time that allows those who’re challenged by time and personal efforts, a time to wake up and start working.

I've been trying my best to work out my hectic schedule of my June Holidays, 2008. What's laid in front of me is a stretch of strenuous road. Tedious, it may seems, but nevertheless I'd have to find fun amidst all these extra burdens in our lives, and somehow try to survive the following months to come. These extra work might have started long time ago but I've only been feeling it's stress on me recently. If not for God's strength, I'd not have survived 2 migraines and the amount of workload piled on my shoulders for the past week. You might think that what I'm facing isn't that bad as compared to others to a certain extent. Yes, I agree. However, given my mental stamina and capabilities, it's a marvellous feat! Never in my life I dared to say that I can survive these stress! One week have passed, but I dare not mention about whether I would be able to do well for the following time to come.
Below was my time-table for the 1st week of the June holidays.

Monday: O-level Chinese, Paper 1 and 2, and followed by Add-math tuition.
Tuesday - Thursday: O-level Music Composition Camp
Friday: Start of my holidays' lessons. (Time for me to catch up with whatever I've missed the past 3 days during the camp.)
Friday - Saturday: Church music ministry retreat, immediately after school. (Time for reflections and rest.)

I must say that the passed week can be considered as a reward from God, or rather, a week that was filled with God's Blessings! No doubt O-level was torturing, but I survived! Yes, I'd a really great partner called Rachel during the O-level Music Composition Camp! (Despite her really bad first impression on me on the first day. She said, "Gosh! He's from Crescent?!") Though many of my friends have been complaining about their partners, but I'm thankful that the camp still ended quite smoothly. I'd admit that the last concert was quite screwed up, but many bear with it with the mindset thinking that "The audience don't know how it's meant to be. They'll still treat them as music!" Rewarding? It definitely was. I've never dared to write weird 20th century chords in my compositions! Never have I dared played it during piano lessons or music exchanges organised by my music school! Now that the workshop have given me an insight of how 21st century music's supposed to sound like, I'd say that it've been an eyeopener for me! Yes, improvising was what I've been doing since I joined the Music Ministry 3 years ago without anyone teaching me how to. But writing down was really a challenge! And I did just that.

Oh! This is really dumb. The St. Hilda and Fairfield teachers didn't know that most of the Crescent Music students are sec 4, Higher Music students till the last day after the performance! So the Crescent group indirectly sabotaged ourselves by allowing the 2 St.Hildan's sec 4 Higher Music students (who came down specially to sightread our pieces) to screw our heavenly pieces. Bet more than 7 Crescent Girls' School music students (including me) actually complained about it!

Pictures of the Music Composition Workshop's Uploaded!!@
http://photobucket.com/crankychords

Returned home really late that Thursday night. Good old grief. What took the bus so long?! Found myself dead-tired on the bed, talking to one of my music classmates and without the will to sleep, the minute I stepped into the house (after washing up that is). Sleeping's still a must, and I did just that! Only an hour later than expected.

Chemistry practical lesson was really cool! I've found my playful-self once again after losing it for more than a year now. Mixing chemicals and than heating them have been my lab-hobbies! Apparently not following the given instructions and sometimes getting minor sparks flying out of my test tube can be quite fun (Try it on your own risk out of your teacher's sight!) if you view it from a child's point of view! I seriously doubt one would consider the worst-case scenario at such an age. Add-math was torturing! Lonely? Indeed. Reason to isolate myself? I need to catch up with my work! Tough? Very. Disastrous? CERTAINLY!

However, amidst all these work, I've found a time for myself at the Music ministry's retreat. I wasn't enthusiastic about it at all, but the sharing I had with John during bedtime was certainly worth it. Contents shared are absolute personal.

Sunday's coming soon but it'll leave as quickly as well. Soon it'll be monday, followed by those intensive O-level extra lessons. I'd not hope that i will do well, but I'd hope that I will score the way I should for O-levels, and to have quiet time every now and then to allow me a time to respite and reflect before moving on at full-gear. Friends can perform miracles.

Had our last lunch together before the music ministry dispersed to their different groups at Junction 8. I bet many of us saw a sign outside the MRT station's exit saying something cute!
Here's a picture of it!

A picture speaks a thousand words.
However, this one shown here only reflects 5-definite words.

Points to note: Junction 8 is still opened and running! Don't be scammed!

Emptiness.

2008-05-25T18:24:00.003+08:00

One by one, people walked away.
Bit by bit, things vanished.
Second by second, time slipped pass.
Layer by layer, my heart ripped apart.

I trembled in fear.
Tears rolled down my cheek.
I've come thus far,
There's no turning back.

My optimistic nature didn't neutralise my despondency.
My phone laid silently on the ground, my heart in despair.
Everywhere seemed unfamiliar without your pressence.
Just what happened to me?

Confusion lead me afar.
I didn't mean to gamble.
Can you return to me again?
"It's too late," you might say.

The failure to predicate my faith dampened all good moods.
Questions came from different directions...
Questions that I can't answer.
Where's everybody when I needed someone?

The Wind blows.
The River flows.
The Sun shines.
But my heart sinked.

I need a friend.
One who'll never leave.
One who'll be there whenever I'm in need.
One who'll be there to shed light on my darkened Life.

I need someone who'll be there.
But no one on Earth seems to understand.
I need a break.
Away from the emptiness I've found in me.

Light of the dark - Time Saver.

2008-05-20T15:51:00.008+08:00

Many students of Band 2 now face a problem. With only an average of 2 passes per class in the S4 Express stream for English, little see hope in the route ahead of them. The Earth had opened and many fell in. I'm one of those who're still clinging dearly to the edge of the pit for life. With nothing to lean on, it's normal to feel the sense of being left out. With every bit of debris, one after another, coming in all directions, hitting me, it's tormenting me! I can't hold on any longer!

A sense of despair hit me, yet again. When Mrs S stepped into class again today for English. I need a break from games! And I know that lessons is the only time whereby I can study the most during the day. "You've 3 choice now because Midyears are over. First, I'll study with you. Second, watch a movie. Third, do our own work." - Mrs S. The things that comes out from her mouth are more or less expected. It's either fun or games, never work. It may seems like a paradise to all students in a way, but to the S4 express class, it's no fun at all. The school's standards are already dropping in terms of English. Just why isn't anything done to prevent the grades from plummeting down to hell?! The mean grade for S4 Express English is now either an E8 or a F9, and it's actually possible for me to imagine if there's anyone getting an U-grade or lower. A sense of victory came over us when the HOD of English offered to teach this class, but nothings left for us to cheer and work about upon Mrs S's return. I dare not even ask for a target higher than a C5 for O-level English now. This really sets me thinking on what have the school done in the past that have lead it to this state. I shan't elaborate further on this topic.

Tiong Lin and I had quite a lot of fun during English lesson just now! Had a chemistry of revision, fun, and laughter! Especially with a mathematics psychic like Tiong Lin, I sure learnt a lot! We were finding things to play with and managed to draw many tic-tack-toes and some cancelling game in which he cheated... Till I suggested that we "play" with Binomial expansions. So I started drawing the first 3 rows of the Pascal's Triangle and asked him to continue. What startled me was his ability to continue 5 more rows! It's really nice of him to teach me how. And we came out with a really nice 14-row Pascal's Triangle on one of the 4B's table (I'm sorry to that table's user. But it's a really nice Triangular pattern!)

Sorry for the blur image and the flashlight from my phone that blocked out some parts of the Triangle. I later did something really dumb - to complete another 15-row Pascal's Triangle during DnT lesson. I know this was something that I shouldn't be doing during those lesson, but I'm trying to save those time that was wasted indirectly by training my mental calculations and hopefully be able to score for Binomial sections in my coming O-level!

Conducive study places / War Zones?

2008-05-16T18:34:00.002+08:00

Crushed papers, bottle caps, soccer balls, Frisbee being thrown across the class, before, during, and after lessons are typical scenes of an average government school. But what's seriously unusual was my feeling of being unable to accept their school's culture. Stepping into class with a fear of being hurt isn't a factor one have to face in their schooling life. So why is there still such events of rebellious in class? I can't answer.

Perhaps the desperate "Frisbee practises" in class was just some practises done by the class to help score in the Sec 4&5 Sports Carnival, held this morning? Countless practises attempts just caused the class to perform better, only in Frisbee and not other areas. This too created havoc's in class, and collected many scoldings by teachers. But they go on, despite the constant nagging of the authorities. I don't despise them; I like the attitude in them. But they are just using this attitude in wrong fields, gaining the class no good. Better students will not be able to study, others in class might get injured, classroom facilities might be damaged, and no one will be happy in times to come. One might say that studies is a student's most important priority. But in the class of rigid souls, I've no say.

Look just how close is he from getting hurt.
(Dom's yellow Frisbee flew side-by-side to Nic Chaw's Neck.)

Times in a low-grade neighbourhood school seems to have our feelings cheated, inside-out. Perhaps no one have ever thought of what's there for them to gain. Mainly because there simply isn't any good points in them. As a student who entered this school with a "try-try" attitude, reluctantly accepting and adopting the school culture into my daily life, I'd only look for a warmth school committee, some "nerds-at-heart" schoolmates as friends, and hopefully a nice place to study. Nothing else. But what turned out was a bunch of ill-breeds as schoolmates and "PRIME" as a reward for entering. I took a deep breath, smiled, and have "never mind" as my words of comfort. Looking back, 3 and a half years have passed. What have I gained in school? A complement that goes, "If you guys don't score your Aces, who else will?"

That may seems like words of encouragements to some, but to us, 4Band2, this, in a sarcastic way simply means something is wrong and that we're to survive on our own whereas the school's just doing something "good" by helping us Aces our English. I shall not update what's going on within 4Band2, but I pretty much believe that the almost the whole level knew what's going on.

Actual O-level papers are starting really soon on the 26th of this month. Just why must the Sports Carnival be held on this date, and thus allowing all sorts of time-table delays within the graduating classes. Decreasing the number of lessons required for the graduating people. Is the school committee in the right of mind? Anyway, the carnival was a total failure in terms of following the judging criteria. And The Carnival was too, totally bias towards the better classes. In a game whereby 4C was against 4A...
First Rule, "No swapping of manpower during the games."
Judge (SZ), "4C minus one point because of a swap in manpower!"
WK (my other Captain's Ball reserve), "What the hell?! 4A swap players for EVERY GAME they played!"
SZ, "Because they have a lack of people."
Me, "4A's the BIGGEST class in the whole 4 express stream!"
SZ, "But we must follow the rules."
WK, "But they... Cheated too! And our class have someone injured in handball so he went to help. Is that wrong too?"
SZ, "..."

Second rule, "Pass the ball to at least 2 girls before a goal can be scored."
SZ, "4C minus another point for not passing to 2 girls before scoring."
WK, "WHAT?! SY (a female captain ball's team-mate) is a girl!"
SZ, "Oh really? In what way is she?"
WJ (SY's partner), "Come let's show her!"
SZ, "..."

Shocking? Definitely. Just what's wrong with the Sports' Leaders inability to recognise a girl from guys. My jaw dropped and my heartbeat quicken with laughter. What I can say is, I'm so amused by the "Sports' Leaders!" No matter how bad it may seem, the carnival was over along with the ending of the day. I'll continue to look forward to the coming days and hopefully, be able to face my second O-level Chinese paper, prepared.

How is this Possible?!

2008-05-09T23:25:00.006+08:00

I was packing my music items when I came across this consent form about a music writing workshop for "O" Level Music Student. I was instantly reminded about my holiday remedial slots and was also shocked by the contents of the form.
This picture shows the upclose (not-so-sharp) image of the consent form.

Look at that. HOW CAN IT BE?!
Yes, it may be held at my "All-Time Favourite School"(that's for now), but CGS just don't have to torture me like that must they? Thankfully I heard something like a change in Prelim's music recital's details. Hopefully they would have the venue changed, away from FMSS, and have the date postponed. If possible, have the recital cancelled! The changing of duet pieces at this point of time, can be quite, pernicious. But I have no say, it's their plans, my exam. I have to follow their rules. Just hope everything can go on smoothly.

Chemistry Of The Simpson's!!

2008-05-08T13:45:00.001+08:00

THEY ARE THE SIMPSON'S!!!!

Pardon me for being a little retarded. But YES!! Chemistry paper was held today. And I, fearing that the reactivity series might be coming out, along with the Chapter on Cations and Anions, so I came out with this last minute Simpson's acronyms for the Reactivity Series.
Here goes...

Potato (Potassium) Simpson's (Sodium) Can (Calcium) Make (Magnesium)
Aluminium Zebras (Zinc) In (Iron) Thin (Tin) Layers (Lead) "of"

Copper, Silver and Gold!!!

Ha-ha! The Simpson's maybe unreasonable at times, but this time, they're REALLY CUTE!! Don't treat them badly okay! But guess what. They are ALL NOT OUT! How saddening can all this gonna get! Fear not, the Simpson's is back! And I'm sure that it will be out during the Prelims and the "O"s!!!

Labour Day's EVE.

2008-04-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

Exam was appalling today...
Is it a proposal OR a formal letter?! DARN paper. The functional writing section was so confusing that many actually misunderstood the paper. What's more, there's people who writes things like report, speech, and even, an informal letter?! Hope they can average out the marks by moderation for this really "one-of-a-kind" paper?

Elementary Mathematics Paper One? Very, very manageable. I'm culpable for not being able to finish the paper on time. I failed to think fast enough despite being fatigued after the paper. But I'm confident enough to attain at least a B for now, and as for "O"s, an A, hopefully.

Music was quite interesting today!
Was not really in the mood for anything after that darn two papers in the morning. But Nelson's superb music skills motivated me to be like him one day. "I MUST PLAY LIKE HIM!" Yes, I can't sing, well. But practical skill wise, I believe I can reach his standard, the experts' standard.
Oh, and I can't deny the fact that he sing and plays (bangs) the piano real loud! I mean, really, really loud. Nelson's performance was heard by almost EVERYONE in the sound-proof Arts Conservatory despite not using a microphone, an amplifier, or anything else. Amazing isn't it?
If you doubt my words, what I've said is proven by Miss S, the music consultant.

Me, “Nelson can sing you know?”
Ms S, "Yeah I know! His singing is SUPERB!"
Me, "You mean... You heard it?"
Ms S, "Everyone who was here heard it!"
Padma, "Ha-ha! Yeah! He was SO CUTE!"
Me, "gasps."

The best part was, Nelson actually taught me a lot more ways to manipulate a chord using broken-chords! And I’m so gonna try it someday.

Benjamin’s weird. Its examinations period and he’s not studying but choreographing dance-steps? What’s more, Padma, a triple-science, double math student, actually joined him and helped him choreograph his weird break dance? Unimaginable.

Well. If you are currently very into examinations and is dying for more, you might want to consider taking some weird papers in a school that is near Redhill MRT station. Want to know more about this school? You can definitely contact Benjamin, the founder of this idea of having super long papers. Want to know how long these papers are? Here’s a portion of their Examination Time-table.

Hope it's big enough? Click to see a bigger picture.

Shocked? Ha-ha! I definitely am. Want to try? No way am I going to do that! But if there’s anyone who is interested, explore the school just right opposite Quest (Queenstown Secondary) and you will find yourself facing a 14-hours long paper, only if you're unlucky enough that is.

After actually mugging Jazz music on my way home, I've found a fact that I can't explain. Why is the methods used in worship (past, present, and most probably the future) so closely related Jazz style music, especially the Dixieland (New Orleans) Style for modern worship. Ancient worship uses methods such as call-and-response, that can be found in tribal african music and in the late 19th century whereby Africans are sold to the America as slaves. Modern worship is a mixture of Light Rock and Jazz that is founded from the basis of Jazz Rock (Fusion).

A Fusion Band normally consists of acoustic wind, brass instruments, synthesizers ♥, electric piano, electric guitars, and bass guitars. Familiar instrumentation.
Aren't I right?

Unlike the Fusion, the emphasis for SACM's Music Ministry Bands is not restricted to only sounding as a group, but for an individual player to play in such a way that it matches their counter-parts in the Band. SACM's Music Ministry Bands favourite method of playing was founded on Dixieland Style Music whereby front-line players (melodic instrumentalists) will improvise several contrasting melodic lines and therefore producing a polyphonic texture. These front-line instruments were supported by percussion instruments, namely the drums, bongo, or chordal instruments like the piano, guitar, banjo and bass. There will also be brief unaccompanied solo aria parts called the breaks (break-downs) during the performance (normally during the climax). And it's performance will normally begins with a short introduction and ends with a short coda, or tag.
Church-mates who are wondering why there are many repeats and irritating breaks during worship might now know what's actually going on now, I hope.
Background information: "Music: An Appreciation" by Roger Kamien.

Labour Day's tomorrow, intensive revision's required. Not only for the Midyears and the Prelims, but most importantly, the "O"s! Hope I'd survive till the next Sunset!

Never say die.

2008-04-25T18:48:00.001+08:00

Disastrous isn't it? If someone would to ask you if you have had how many chances left to witness the rise of the Sun at the beginning of each day. I'd definitely not dare to answer (even if it’s quite logical) to such a question. No one, I should say, would want to die, even at an old age. People with suicidal thoughts would come to a stand still and allow some time for them to reflect before they carry on with their plans. So why does people give up really easily? Not used to the given task? No proper guidance? Not expecting blind spots to uncover themselves? Not expecting authorities to go against one’s plan? Excuses, these are called.

After analysing the reasons for us to face politics at such young age, I somewhat think that teachers are not the main culprit. Look, everyone has a senior. What’s worse is that the higher your ranking is in an organization, the more you fear. So much so that you may find yourselves vanquished by them to the extent whereby one would even have murderous thoughts in them to have a simple promotion. I’d admit that I’m one who will go to all means to demote the party I detest. However, is there a need to do so in the first place?

The hatred one might have to a certain senior is unavoidable. No one in the World will love all their seniors especially when there’s jealousy around. But what can we do to prevent this from getting into our way? Hatred is an emotion in which it will devour our conscious of doing things well. It will, however, change our attitude towards things and melt our positive thoughts of life, to do anything beyond our nature, just to get our goals.

Taming them is one of the ways I used to overcome hatred (on the surface). It makes you seems like a happier person everyday. No worries, no tears, no anger. Just follow the authorities’ instructions and do it to your best. And whenever there’s something wrong, just answer to your authorities in this manner, “You asked me to do it this way didn’t you?” Then ending it all with an innocent smile. Happy-go-lucky is the phrase that would be used to describe them. But deep in them, it’s a totally different story all together. Their dark secret might one day be let out. But before that, they would have backstabbed those whom they want to. Who have the right to judge them in this unfair society? No one.

Sharing is one of the most essential ingredient to bearing all sorts of emotional pain one might be having. But the person whom one’s sharing with must be close to one and that they are able to be trusted, else another backstabbing incident might just happen at your doorstep in time to come. Sharing allows one to oust their emotional stress out from the back of their heads and returning one a life in which they have always wanted. Isn’t it better this way?

Never say die.
Fight for your rights!
Find people whom you trust to share.
And everything would be alright!

You needn't worry for I'd be there to support you in all that you do.
Find me if you need a shoulder cry on, and I'd be there for you.

Happy 2nd Month anniversary. =)

Extraordinary Experiences at my doorstep.

2008-04-23T18:08:00.003+08:00

Today school was filled a amusement for almost every activities that's going on! Given the 2 supposedly MOST STRESSFUL tests that turned out to be the most regaling experience I had in school this year, I must say, I enjoyed the day, very much!

Had my 2.4km re-run today since I didn't participate the last round. The test was, effortless! Surprisingly, I came in 5th among all the re-runners that ran the re-run at about 12 minutes?
I BROKE MY RECORD!! =D

Walking back to class after changing and managing to "smuggle" food and most importantly, myself back to the temporary classroom block was another achievement! Well, at least doing it in front of the head, vice-head prefects and some teachers was counted as an achievement? Guilty but shameless, I walked passed Melvin's class (5A) and saw something really... Out-of-the-ordinary...

Harris, "Chenxing!"
Me (looking at Melvin), "Huh? Who called me?"
Harris, "Chenxing!"
Me (turned and face the place where the voice was coming from and see no one), "Oh no.. This is freaky.."
Harris (walked to me), "Look at the ceiling of the temp classrooms!"
Me (shocked), "Huh! So it's you.. Why? Another trick? It's still April..."
Harris, "Just see luh!"
Me, "Orhs."

When I saw that, I'm really lost for words for a moment. Just how did that Paper-Plane get to that height of about 8 - 12 metres, at the gradient in which rockets are launched and stayed there in perfect shape?!

Me, "How... How did it get up there?"
Harris, "Not I do one. Derek throw one.."
Me, "I mean. That plane can only glide, not fly... up?"
Harris, "Derek did it! Serious!"
Me, "erm erm..."
Harris (stands in a weird position and pretend to use all his might to throw a plane), "Just throw luh.. Like that."
Me, "The plane will go out of shape if you throw like that according to physics and experiments I've conducted in the past!"
Harris, "I don't know..."
Me (take the picture), "okay?"

This is the picture of the paper-plane that penetrated the steel net and the aluminium at the highest part of the ceiling of the temporary classroom block structure.

Chinese oral sucked today. But it definitely was amusing! I LOVE Mrs L's oral skills as an examiner! =D
Passage was mainly about Olympics Torch. Cool yeah? Indeed! With many weird translations of City names. The rest was pretty much alright. Cum the conversation section. It ROCKED, in a sarcastic way I should say. For convenience sake, I shall try my best to translate it all into English.

Mrs L (started posing after I finished reading), "Alright, now tell me. Is organizing proms in high class restaurants or ballrooms for graduating students a good choice?"
Me, "Oh. It's good to a certain extent but it is too in a bad way..."
Mrs L (nods), "Yea. Agree agree.."
Me, "It's good because it is the last activity the school's gonna organise for the graduating students, so of course, it should be as grand and nice as possible. But there are some poorer students who..."
Mrs L, "What about poorer students who can't afford? What can the school do? Note, the school won't be paying. The students will be paying full-cost!"
Me, "I was about to say that right! Where am I. Oh! The school should subsidise the cost for poorer students who can't afford the prom night so that they can also enjoy their last few moments in secondary school..."
Mrs L, "Enough. So where do you think the school can organise the prom night to make it much cheaper as compared to restaurants or ballrooms?"
Me, "I'd suggest the school hall. Look! It's big enough with good lighting and ventilation perhaps? So just move some tables and chairs, do some spring-cleaning and...."
Mrs L (started telling her story and forgets that this was an exam), "Cool! I share the same view too! You know it's good in a lot of ways and it's much cheaper! No rental fees the school will pay, no interest, no nothing! Everyone would be able to afford and..."
Me (to myself), "I am NOT your examiner!!!"
Mrs L, "Okay. Upon saying so much, do you have any point to add?"
Me, "Of course, oh I can't take it anymore..."
Mrs L, "What?"
Me, "oh nothing. Most of the things that I want to say, you've covered for me. But also, the poorer students will benefit A LOT with this..."
Mrs L, "Enough. My turn."
Mrs L (continue explaining.), "blah blah..."
Mrs L (suddenly got really serious), "You know in your oral in July, please focus on your main points..."
Me, "I did the same for Os last year!"
Mrs L, "then why did you come here?"
Me, "retake. hais."
Mrs L, "So how much did you get?"
Me, "Distinction you lousy examiner..."
Mrs L, "Very well, you may leave."
Me (stands up and take my bag), "Thank you Mrs.."
Mrs L, "Wait! So why did you retake?"

The conversation continues with poor Simon waiting right behind, enduring all the noise pollution created in front. This was really something beyond the ordinary isn't it?!
Just wanna conclude my oral experiences with...
I'M NOT AN EXAMINER BUT A CANDIDATE!

Today was truly an extraordinary day for me. Isn't it?

"Harmless" Weapons.

2008-04-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

*I got back into class after Chinese lesson and lie on my table, hoping to get some sleep.*
Julia, "Hey Chenxing!"
Me, "what..."
Julia, "Look here!"
Me (stretched and turned to Julia with eyes closed) , "why..."
Julia (holds bottle and hit my nose hard as if she's a baseball player), "Ouch!"
Me, "That's MY WORD!!!"
Julia, "Sorry sorry sorry sorry...."
Me, "Argh...."
Julia, "Sorry, bottle have high inertia, cannot stop in time."
Me, "HAH HAH???"

Positive Impact of that experience on me:
I was kept wide awake during math the period after that... =)

Negative Impact of that experience on me:
My nose actually bleed a little but dried-up very quickly. But it's DARN PAINFUL!!! DX

Moral of the story, be more alert with everything around me!!! DX
Julia, if you're reading this, watch out. X(

Move On.

2008-04-21T20:32:00.004+08:00

No matter how suck the day may be.
Do not be bothered by the past or it will haunt you further more.

FOCUS on your Present Life,

Let Go of all your disgusting Past.
Move On.

Behind the Scenes.

2008-04-19T00:51:00.002+08:00

TOO MANY things happened this two days..
Speech and Prize Giving Day cum Aesthetics Night just ended.
And no one can ever imagine what really happened behind the scenes! I guess? =x
One of which is... THIS.

"Scotch-tape, stick on me, and I'll soar with you to a place called "Pencil Case"."
- Si Hao.

I was blinded by the spot-light of Singapore Poly's Convention Centre but I decided to take a picture with Simon and his darn-neat Number 1 Uniform after the whole event since it might be the last time he is going to wear this.
Although it wasn't really decorated by badges but still, it's smart! Aren't I right?

Simon and I with his Number 1 Uniform.

Alright. I shan't overload the craps here. Am presently suffering from severe headache due to that intolerable spot-light shining directly into my eyes. And hence causing me to have no appetite for dinner now. Isn't it saddening?! Thinking about the time now and everything. I think it is, saddening.

Anyway, no matter what, don't get into the "gentle pai-kia's" way or they will haunt you and the area you own as long as one of them lives. Wanna know who they are? Here's a snapshot of them!

That's all for the day!
I seriously can't wait till the musical-date later and "生命 No Take 2" on Tomorrow!! =D

4 words to conclude today's practical.

2008-04-16T20:57:00.004+08:00

Question :How badly did I screw my FIRST midyear paper given the lack of preperation? (6marks)

Ans:

From the given lack of practise, I PREDICTED that I will do really badly for the exam even days before it. It's showed that I only chose my final solo pieces the minute before the exam. This means that I will have to focus on more songs than expected and therefore, losing precious practise time and performing badly during the exam.

However, there are other factors that lead to the failure of today's exam such as my solo pieces, the duet with Ben and my duet with Nelson.

I can infer from my solo pieces playing that they are really screwed. The 2 examiners said that I “fluctuated a lot” while I was playing the second song and that is why I was marked down and even though my first piece “isn’t that bad”. They are trying to portray the fact that I did really badly and stopped many times during the piece and therefore unable to score well for this section.

My duet with Nelson was pretty much a failure. This is due to the lack of practise with each other due to “excess CCA meetings” and “extra remedial lessons” this few months before the exam. Although I am “free almost every time” but whenever I’m free, Nelson will not be free. Worse of all, every time we’re free to actually practise, Ben will be there to interrupt. This therefore caused us to lose a lot of precious practise time and lose out under the coordination sector.

Benjamin did extremely well for his last minute duet with me. He “has not touched his violin since the End-Of-Year Exam last year” and that he’s planning to “sight-read through this exam” too. This shows that he wouldn’t practise his violin and will of course, perform really badly. This will also affect his sight-reading skills and his sense of rhythm and therefore, being unable to coordinate with me during the exam.

Therefore, I conclude that I had screwed my first midyear paper, the Music-Practical Paper, to a VERY GREAT EXTENT!

I AM SO SCREWED!!!!!!! DX

I wrote this to cheer myself up because I did well for for my most recent SS test.

Darkest Times.

2008-04-14T04:25:00.000+08:00

It’s never easy to work alone, let alone leading a Life of loneliness. Even the Bible talks about relationships between human being. I can never imagine a Life without friends around. I stood amidst the crowd, watching every living soul around me. The eyes of jealousy opened.

But now I’m all alone, in the darkness of the emotionless night sky. Just when I held my pen, my eyelids got heavier, my head started spinning, my fingers fell flat, I lie helpless on my work. I needed someone, who can accompany me, even at this hour of the day, someone who understands me, someone to talk to, someone whom I can trust, and someone who can be my friend.

Slides of memory flashed in my mind. There’s no one else capable of doing all that except the God whom I can’t seems to understand. To me, sometimes it’s just some work of the “super-natural beings” to me. And sometimes, I thought maybe there is really someone out there watching over me.

Can this stress period be a turning point of my Life? Can I learn more from Him rather then focusing everything on myself? Can I lean onto Him, a supposing “pillar-of-strength”?

A gamble’s worth it. Many living testimonies out in the World are being shared. Can I experience them too? I cling aimlessly to my every heartbeat, not knowing what my goal in Life is. A little more faith is all I need, to have my Life be your glory in future.

But as for now, Os seems to have taken over me. I can’t let go of them. It determines my Life. Coping is tough, and I alone can’t stand strong against the tides. I need someone, someone to lean on, someone who can listen to my cries, and someone who can be my friend.

Have me sent to the darkest corners of the World and I'll live solely on your name.
Help me cope with everything else and stay positive. Allow your will to be done on me, and to be seen by people around.

May this be my prayer.
Amen.

Dream Life!

2008-04-06T17:22:00.005+08:00

A New Day, A New Start, A New Beginning.
The Flames Of Strength rises from beneath.
Every breath is mixed with hope.
Every beam of Sunlight surrounded with dreams.

Sprinklers of dew on our feet.
Never ending Music from the living nature.
Just how fresh is the coolness of the morning air!

Let us dance blithefully to the Rhythm of Nature!
Let us open my vocal chords to the Sound of Life!
Let us repose on the softness of greenery!
To be with you everyday and everynight!
But not back to face the albatross of Citylife!

It's Over.

2008-04-05T17:06:00.014+08:00

Why is everyone mugging and I'm not?

Why isn't Os my top priority now?!
It've to BE!
It's OVER!

from the time you walked away.
I knew that it's the end of our relationships.